It's Not All Black and White
by Shinigami Hunter
Summary: Summary revised. Kanda's black and white world is slowly turning gray, all because of the reappearance of a stupid beansprout. All his options are shot down, all his ways are blocked. Kanda must find a new path to walk down. Yullen, Shounen-ai. COMPLETE.
1. First Shade: Yuu Kanda

The first two or three chapters.. maybe more.. will be somewhat short. I mean, it's not even 2000 words. That's... measly. Yeah... Sucks, doesn't it? But don't worry, I'm just trying to get these perspectives out of the way without revealing too much of my wonderful plotline.

To all the people who Alerted and reviewed to Perception, I give you my thanks, but I'm unable to continue that story. Sorry. I'm gonna say it right now. That story will stay up, but it's done for. Dead. Stagnant. Yeah.

**It's Not All Black and White**

**Warnings:** Uh, not much. Really. Nothing bad.. Just Kanda's temper, which speaks for itself.

**Pairings:** Yullen, some other side pairings. I'm thinking on Lavi/Linali...

This is **Semi-AU**, meaning that they're Exorcists (I need to get used to capitalizing that word.. XD), but the plot doesn't quite follow the anime/manga. In this case, the story kinda branches from manga, but not from where they are at the moment. I can't say anymore, for fear of revealing plot line. D: So, sorry.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own DGM. I don't own DGM. I don't own DGM. I don't-- you get the idea.

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**Chapter 1:** Yuu Kanda

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"_Kanda-kun!"_

Kanda eyebrow twitches at the overly exuberant voice coming from his golem. After a brief moment of silence, he ignores the call and returns to meditating.

_"Kaanndaaaaa!!"_

It's Linali this time, instead of her idiot brother, and Kanda is tempted to reply but, again, he ignores her. Of course, judging by the way things were going, if they were trying to prod a response out of him—

_"Yuu-chan!"_

Bingo.

Kanda grits his teeth and snatches the golem that fluttered about, projecting Lavi's annoying voice throughout the hall.

"Do _**not**_ call me that. _**Ever.**_" He snarls, gripping the golem tightly.

_"Hiiiee—!"_

_"Kanda, nii-san has been trying to contact you for hours!"_

"Really? Tch. Sorry, I hadn't noticed. I was too busy _training_."

_"Kanda-kun! How dare you talk like that to my Linali-chan?! Just for that, I'm having you assigned to the newly recruited Exorcist for your next mission!"_

Kanda rolls his eyes and slides on the black exorcist coat. He grabs Mugen and stalks out of the training hall without answering to the crazy scientist's rambling on and on.

_"Yuu! Are you listening? Yuu-chan!"_

Quickening his pace, Kanda storms past the Finders and other workers, a dark and gloomy cloud settling over his head and making itself comfortable. May God spare the idiot or anyone else who dared to approach Kanda when he was in a bad mood.

"Um, Mr. Kanda? Are you okay?"

God spare Miranda Lotto, who was idiotic and brave enough to do so. Her only reply was an icy glare that sent her into hysterics and she sobbed, cried, and said something about being useless and drowning herself in the nearest canal. Luckily (or not, Kanda's view), one of the finders was able to placate her before she took drastic actions.

Today was one of the few days Kanda had agreed to a break and he woke up early that morning to start training, stopping only for lunch. He would've liked to stay up all night as well to train in the dark, but his tired body would eventually compel him to sleep.

And now they were throwing him out with the newbie.

Joy.

_"Yuu!!"_

He barely restrains the need to break down the door to the science department in his irritation, lest Lavi take the chance to tease him about it one way or another. So, he settles for kicking it open and glaring at all the occupants until he finds the smiling idiot known as Lavi.

"I told you not to call me that, baka usagi!"

And Lavi was sent scuttling away to cower being Linali. "Don't kill me! I still have more wars to record!"

A foreign yet familiar laughter interrupts him in his mental tirade. Kanda rounds on whoever dared intrude on his plans to kill the red-head and was met with a patch of silvery white hair and metallic gray eyes, mouth stretched into a shy grin. A red scar ran down the side of his face from a dull red pentacle on his left temple.

A spark of familiarity flits through the gray orbs but disappeares before Kanda could make anything of it. He immediately decides that he didn't like this person and his silly smiles. He was just like the rabbit.

"Kanda-kun, don't stare so seriously at your partner! The mission will only last a few weeks, but you can take time to get acquainted along the way!" Komui announces happily, holding up a clipboard to fend off Kanda's glare.

"When are we leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning, 9 o'clock!"

"Right. I'll read the mission specs on the way there." Kanda grinds out, turning on his heel to exit, only to be stopped by the new kid.

"Wait!"

Slowly, Kanda faces the shorter man and resists the urge to snap back like he usually does.

"You're, um, Kanda, right?" That silly smile again, and a hand is stretched out. "I'm Allen Walker. Pleased to meet you."

At any other time, Kanda would have scoffed and stomped off with some snide remark, or no remark at all, but he couldn't help the words that slipped out, nor did he really understand their meaning.

"As if I'd shake hands with a cursed person like you."

Soft, collective gasps run through the room and Kanda finds himself wracking his mind for the reason behind his response.

"Cursed? What are you talking about, Yuu?" Lavi asks, a confused grin on his face. Linali has a sympathetic smile.

"Are you feeling okay, Kanda? Maybe you should get some rest…"

"The Gatekeeper said he was cursed." And Kanda is thinking that there really was something wrong with him, speaking out suddenly with no thought put into his words, and that maybe he really did need to rest.

Gatekeeper? Cursed? His golem had been silent all day, save when Komui contacted. He would've heard something if a cursed being tried to make it into the headquarters. Then again, he'd been training all day and had turned off the golem for peace and quiet.

A glance at Walker shows a rather curious look that flashes away into disbelief and worry.

"I-it's true that I may be a little cursed, but I'm otherwise a very superb human being!" he stammers, waving his hands dramatically in front of him. "Really!"

"Che. Whatever. I'm going to bed." It seemed he had his mind back, and he could say what he wanted. "Wake me up before the meeting time and I'll kill you." He adds for good measure and slams the door shut.

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"Aaahh… don't mind Yuu!" Lavi grins, patting Allen's back. "He's always like that, always!"

"I-is that so?" Allen laughs lightly, rubbing the back of his head. "He's scary…"

"Well, don't take it to heart, Allen-kun. Kanda must be tired and annoyed at us for disturbing his training. He rarely takes days off and likes to be left alone whenever he does."

"Yeah…" Allen smiles and makes to leave as well. "I think I'll go to bed, too. Good night, Linali, Lavi, Komui."

"Okay, get a good rest, Allen-kun!" Linali smiles back, waving as Allen leaves, nodding before he closes the door. And then Komui turns his attention to the red-headed Bookman Jr., eyes glinting dangerously behind his glasses.

"Now, _Lavi-kun_, explain to me why you were wandering around with Linali, _**alone**_?!"

"Gah! No! Stay away from me, you mad man!!"

"Mou, nii-san!"

-

Stifling a yawn, Kanda slows his pace down to a walk, his mind wandering back to the white haired man who seemed so strange yet so familiar at the same time. As he passes the cafeteria, something compels him to pause and look in.

There was a boy, a younger version of.. Walker.. and he was talking to… _himself?_

Kanda stares. Allen Walker was talking to him, Yuu Kanda, but he's standing outside the cafeteria and yet inside at the same time.

_"Let go of me, bean sprout."_

When had he ever called Walker that?

_"It's Allen."_

_"Ha, I'll remember it if you survive the first month. This place has a lot of people that drop like flies… just like these guys."_

There's a pain in his right wrist, as though someone was gripping it tightly, and the Kanda in the cafeteria let go of the Finder he was strangling.

_"That's why I said you shouldn't have said those words."_ Young Walker is standing up to him, surprisingly enough. Would the older one do the same? It would be more interesting, albeit more troublesome, if he did…

_"I could make you die young… You're the type I hate."_

_"Well, thanks for that."_

He doesn't remember ever saying those words to anyone, let alone Walker. Hell, he never even recalled that incident happening. The almost comical column of fire blazing behind the two suddenly went out and disappeared, including himself and the other Walker.

Rubbing his eyes, he walks away from the cafeteria and towards the training room. He'd end up thinking about that if he tried to sleep now.

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As the long-haired Asian exorcist rounds a corner, a pair of eyes follows silently. A Finder, hidden in the shadows of a pillar, watches as Kanda removes the exorcist coat and folds it up neatly, placing it against the wall along with his sword's sheath.

When he doesn't do anything other than sit down in the middle of the room with his eyes closed, the Finder reaches into a sleeve and pulls out a silvery golem, not unlike its black counterpart.

"He's in the training hall, sir."

_"Oh? That's not a good thing… He'll tire himself out before the mission. And it won't work if he doesn't sleep!"_

"…Sir, why don't we just kill him? He's already shown signs of—"

_"No, no! We can't do that. He has to stay alive for the Earl's scenario to progress. Don't kill him."_

"But, sir... he's so _vulnerable_… just one shot is all it'll take.."

A dry laugh comes from the other line. _"Kanda won't die so easily. His lotus still has enough petals to rival a Level 4.. You're still in development. You don't stand a chance against him at the moment. Please don't do anything rash that will bring down the Order."_

The Finder gazes at the still meditating exorcist and sighs discreetly. "The Order? I guess we're following their rules now, since the Earl is—"

_"That's enough, Myria-san. Please, do get some rest and be ready for tomorrow. Kanda will sleep, eventually. I'd like you to check on the others though. Make sure they fall asleep."_

"Of course."

_"Good night, Myria-san."_

"Good night, my lord."

The silver golem shimmers and falls silent, disappearing back into the Finder's sleeves. The Finder, loyal to the given orders, goes to check on the remaining exorcists before retiring for the night.

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SO. Like? No like?

Reviews are lovely. Flames are nice too, though they'll just be falling into the icy pits of hell known as Kanda's room.

Huh? You say they don't understand half of what I wrote, friend? Well, sor-RY for having such a big vocabulary. No really, if anything doesn't make sense, tell me, PM me, e-mail me, and I'll clarify it and edit the chapter. :)

This story will be "beta"d by my two closest friends not on , so until I lose contact with them, I won't be needing an official beta.

_**Edit (January 1, 2009):** LOL. This fic was not finished on New Years, but I've kind of forgotten to edit this until now._

_This fic does __not have a dramatic ending or anything, but it __does have a sequal that the authoress is still working on. This'll be updated again once the sequal is out. Anyway. This fic has been completed, but the plot is still ongoing, just so you don't get caught off guard at the end._

_**Edit (January 17, 2009):** Fixed some grammatical errors/changed everything to present tense to match the later chapters. Might have missed something though, so just drop a line if you find ones that don't make sense.  
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	2. Second Shade: Bookman Jr and Linali Li

Lookit that, we're back. I swear I have more time to write this story than I do to type it up, so things'll be moving a bit fast for the first set of chapters. I don't do deadlines, so don't PM me all "hurry hurry I wanna know what happens next" cuz I'm not gonna go any faster.

**Many thanks to** ranmyaku-neko, Kyurengo, MysticMaiden 18, -Kuroi Momo-, Wolfie559933, , ThisUsernameIsVeryCreative, uniFsky, Yume Li, cally-666, crimsonphoenix13, xmystorytime, Michi-chan2, SeikaDragon, Yuna-The-Exorcist (my best bud and Beta-er), Amiri, and Nusku!

Now, for the reviews!

**xXJustAnotherFangirlXx**: Oh, well. Uh. I think it was when I was watching DeathNote.. and I was like "..Shinigami.. . Um. Hm." And it somehow turned into my pen name. Yeah. Lame. I don't even remember. Sorry. XD

**Exorcist-Miranda**: I'm sorry! Really. I'll put in a short summary of Chapter 1 after the replies! ;

**SeikaDragon**: I believe you have it backwards... maybe. .;

**simply anonymous, Wolfie559933, xmystorytime, Nusku**: Thanks! :D

Well, since it seems like some people aren't really understanding what's happening in Chapter 1, I'll take some time to Recap!

Kanda is called into Komui's office to go on a mission with one of the new Exorcists, Allen Walker. That's basically all that happens. If you're confused, it's probably because the lines are from the manga from when Allen and Kanda first meet. It's supposed to be like that.. just not as confusing. XD It'll be a bit less confusing as the story goes on. Mostly it's because of my tendency to start a conversation, then ramble on about their thoughts and go back to the conversation when you're thoroughly confused, so I'm partly to blame, too.

I forgot to say that this story is a Semi-AU in the first chapter, so I'll let loose SOME plotline; Allen is 16 in the manga, so this story takes place 2 years later.

What happened in those two years is unknown, since it seems like everyone has forgotten, and Allen is seen as a new Exorcist to everyone in the Order when he arrives. Some of the members seem to remember Allen in one way or another, but soon forget. The reason why is not going be revealed, but I hope you'll figure it out soon! :D

Chapter 2 takes place before Chapter 1 timeline-wise, meaning that this happens before Kanda is called up. This is only here to clear up some stuff, so it's short as well. Yeah. Next one will be longer, I'm hoping.

I'm not going to promise a chapter in Allen's POV until, like, the very, very end. For plot purposes. So sue me if you don't get to read about Allen's turmoiling thoughts and feelings and shit.

**Warnings:** Um. None? Yeah. Kanda's not in here, so it's perfectly PG-13. Probably even G if 'hell' wasn't so bad, but there's also me. Ha.

This one was a pain to write. It was so much shorter than the first chapter that I had to elaborate on the first part... and it's still uneven. Eugh. Oh well. Enjoy.

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**Chapter 2:** Bookman Jr. and Linali Li

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The Science Department is unusually empty when Linali walks in bearing coffee one morning. Instead of the noise and clamor of tired workers and her dead-exhausted brother complaining about work and then praising the gods when she arrived, the room is completely silent.

The large screen that usually shows the Gatekeeper is blank and disconnected and the cleaning robot Komui had invented was missing, yet the room is still dirty and cluttered as usual.

Her brother's desk is clean, however, and there's no paperwork left undone that she can see. His 'Komui' stamp is put away, pens and pencils tucked neatly in the desk drawers. All the other desks in the room are just as clean, if not cleaner, and she wonders how long they all stayed up to get all the work done.

Trying not to make too much of it, Linali sets a cup of coffee down on her brother's desk for when he returned, if ever, only to pause when the screen flashed a few times.

The golem fluttering above the Gatekeeper is suddenly turned on remotely and shows a person approaching it. Linali can make out the faint shape and coloring of Timcanpy, General Cross Marian's custom golem, which eases her fears slightly. Behind the stranger is a more familiar sight. A Finder.

Somewhat relieved, the Chinese Exorcist sets down the tray of coffee and meant to go greet the two who returned but she finds herself using the nearest golem flying around the room to contact the gate. She can hear herself speaking, but it's not her who's talking; it's more like she's being controlled, and the words don't correspond with her thoughts of panic at the prospect of being manipulated from afar.

"Gatekeeper-san," she announces, watching as the gate pauses in the X-Ray examination. "Let them in. There's no need for an examination."

"_Let him… in? No examination?! But he's--!"_

"He is a friend of the Order," 'she' reassures, feeling as though they've already gone through this before. "There is a Finder and Timcanpy, General Cross's golem, with them. They are not enemies. Please, open the gate and let them enter."

The golem disconnects after that and Linali is spared of listening to the gate's grumbling as it opens. Tray of coffee forgotten, she picks up a clipboard and exits the science department, her legs moving with minds of their own. It's as though her Dark Boots are controlling them.

And it's scaring her.

Stranger still, no one has made contact via golem to object to her actions.

She only hops the two strangers weren't Akuma, because she has no idea why she ordered for their admittance without a proper examination.

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Lavi was furious with the Gatekeeper incident, when he bumped into Linali coming down the hall from the Science Department, and he's hell bent on getting answers.

"Linali! Why did you let them in like that?! They could have been Akuma!" he hisses, lest Komui's 'my-Linali-chan-is-being-harassed' senses go off. Linali, however, has a pleasantly distant look in her eyes.

"What do you mean, Lavi? General Cross's Timcanpy is with them. They're not enemies." She states, smiling. There's truth behind her words, Lavi can tell, as well as confusion. She's been that way ever since _he_ left. They've all been like that.

A few years ago, one of their Exorcists became a General and vanished like all Generals did. Since then, Lavi has experienced frequent lapses in his memories, one such example being he couldn't remember who the Exorcist was. Bookman said the same thing, and that worried him, but neither knew what was going on.

It may have been his imagination, but everyone in the Order seemed to be drinking a lot more coffee after the leave of their newest General, possibly to stay awake and overwork themselves. But then Linali, who tended to shy away from the blackish liquid, drowned hers in milk and cream until it resembled melted toffee to make it palatable.

Lavi had managed to stop falling to the urge for caffeine a few weeks ago, and he found his mind faring better than before. Though the memory lapses still happened, he could now retain information for days as opposed to the usual 24 and some hours.

"But, Linali! This is serious. None of the Generals have contacted us for months! And it's been a year since we lost contact with General Cross. Who knows what he's planning by sending that person with Timcanpy!"

"_Lavi!_ Are you accusing General Cross of betraying the Order?" Linali gasps, but the shock in her voice never reached her confused eyes.

Lavi blanchs. Had he meant to say it like that? He opens his mouth to reply but pauses as a faint sound reached his ears. It's a piano, and the tune is painfully familiar.

"Lavi?"

"Shh!" He hisses, holding up a hand as if it would get her to quiet down. "..Do you hear that, Linali?"

"Hear what? Lavi.. are you feeling okay?"

He shuts his eyes and strains his ears to listen. A soothing melody drifts into the hall, loud and clear, and Linali still shows no sign of hearing it. The tune is so familiar, Lavi is sure he's heard it somewhere before and he definitely has. After all, he's the successor to Bookman! His memory extended beyond words and images.

"I.. I think it's coming from.. the Ark."

"Huh? What Ark? That one doesn't work anymore, Lavi. General Cross said so himself, it's broken. I don't hear anything."

Lavi stares at her for a few moments, trying to concentrate on recording the music, only to find that whatever familiarity it held was fading away quickly, and then he blinks and there is only silence.

"..Huh. It's gone.." He mutters, looking in the direction of the Ark. _Maybe I'm not feeling that well after all…_

There's someone walking out of the room. Or rather, _gliding_. Something white, gold, silver, and black. White dimmed to silvery locks, silver to a black coat, and black to a dull red scar. The gold separated from the original form and fluttered around the head of a Finder.

"Lavi, that's the Exorcist who just returned. See, that's General Cross's golem." Linali smiles again and starts walking to them. "Come on!"

"Huh? Cross's… yeah.." Lavi sighs, and turns, unable to figure out what he was going to say about Cross. "I'll go get Bookman. He might want to see this."

Linali smiles and nods in reply, and Lavi takes off in the opposite direction, arriving at the door to his and Bookman's room without any recollection of how he navigated the tower so quickly. He decides that it doesn't matter and opens the door.

"Bookman! Hey, grandpa!"

There's a shuffle, but nothing else, and Lavi walks in, moving books around to make a path to walk on.

"..Panda!"

A swift kick to his head leaves him sprawling on the ground, yelping in pain and holding his head.

"Who's a panda?!" The stout elder rebukes, hands hidden in his sleeves as Lavi sits up.

"Whatever, grandpa. There's a new Exorcist! Came with General Cross's golem!" Lavi says, waving his arms excitedly. New? Wasn't he the one that just returned? No, Lavi had never seen him before, so he had to be new. Yeah. New.

"Then at least try being useful and go! Don't bother me, I'm working!" Bookman rasped before he kicked his grandson out of the room and left him grumbling about mean pandas.

Lavi finds himself in front of the door to the Science Department, and before he realizes what he's doing, it's like he's on autopilot and he's opening the door without knocking like he should and usually does.

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"Lavi-kun!" Komui exclaims, unusually happy. "How nice of you to join us! Come, sit, have some coffee!"

"Uh, no thanks, I—" Lavi protests as he sits down and a cup of lukewarm black liquid is shoved into his hands. Maybe he could say he was tired and needed sleep and that caffeine would just keep him up later.

"The coffee's really good!"

Lavi looked up and emerald eyes met with gray ones. The man, not much more than a boy, smils at him.

"Er.. yeah, I guess." Lavi mutters and raises the cup. Where has he seen this person before? White hair, friendly gray eyes, a red eye scar, golden golem… He takes a sip and tries not to voice his distaste of the bitter sting.

"You're from the Bookman clan, right?" The man asks, setting down his half-empty cup. "Master Cross told me about you guys. You're supposed to have really good memory, right? That's so cool! Is it true? Can you really remember anything?"

Being bombarded with questions sets him on edge, but Linali and Komui don't seem to notice, instead choosing to continue drinking.

"Uh.. yeah! Every little thing!" Lavi grins, downing the rest of the liquid despite his body's refusal. Again, his mind is hazy and he hates it, not being able to recall the important things. "So, Linali and Komui may have already said this, but.. Welcome to the Black Order! I'm Lavi. Nice to meet you!"

"A pleasure to meet you too, Lavi." The way his name rolls off the young man's tongue scares him a bit, as though he's so used to saying it, but Lavi manages to keep on a grin and tries to ignore the glint in those gray eyes.

"I'm Allen Walker, and my Finder is Myria. Please take care of us!"

And since when does an Exorcist have a personal Finder?

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Sooooo... I'm hoping I got Allen's character down. Kanda's easy to write, and Lavi and Linali aren't too hard.. but Allen.. eugh. D: I'm not cheery and British enough for Allen.

I is hoping there be no character bashing in this fic, though. So I'll try to treat every character fairly. Especially if they're your favorite. Er, my favorite. Whatev'.

There will be OCs later on, for the sake of PLOT, so start expecting my messed up characters (including Myria from Chap 1) sometime around Chapters 4 and 5.

I've just realized that the titles for chapters one and two are redundant. But I was too lazy to use anything else... D: Meh. Review. Flame. Feed my inner fanficcer. Melt Kanda's heart. Liquify his room. Fear his wrath.

Amen. May God save you from the terror that is Yuu Kanda.

PS: My best bud, Yuna-the-Exorcist, is writing a CloudxOC fanfic, so go read that too. It's not up yet, but start expecting! ;D Luv ya, hon.

_**Edit (January 17, 2009):** Changed everything (or tried to) to present tense._


	3. Third Shade: Die Another Day

Oh. Hey. Look. It's the third Chapter.

I'm uploading these too fast, aren't I? Oh well.

Review time!

**Junoan** - You. Hush. D: Lol. Kidding. We'll find out in a few chapters!

**Nusku** - True... which kinda sucks. . Not that I'd want to be cheery and British. Not that there's anything _wrong_ with being cheery and British, but.. I'm proud being an Asian. :D

**Wolfie559933** - Indeed. Mystery. :D I feel as though each chapter just hands out more questions instead of answering them. Lol.

Everyone else who reviewed, thanks! Listing them all here takes a lot of time, and I should be doing homework instead of posting this chapter. But idc, ilu guys too much to ignore you.

And also some gratitudeness to Hikari Ice Angel, Shotoru, AyaKuro, kyeewoo, fantasy115, Ran16, Lal Mirch, Seregil1989, and xxchibinessxx! ILU ALL SO DAMN MUCH. TEARSOFJOY

Murphy's Law seems to make its way a lot of stories out there. This is just one among many.

It starts getting action-y and angst-y around here, near the end. There will be some notes at the end for translation purposes and a bit of clearing up with words you may not know. :D Because my pal Yuna-the-Exorcist, who has just published her CloudxOC fic by the way, didn't get it, I'm assuming some others wouldn't either. Yeah. Enjoy.

**Warnings**: LOLPENIS. Yes. M to the MAX. For penises. And Kanda's mouth. Which also includes penis. And I hope that didn't sound _too_ wrong... D: Meh. It's Kanda. He'll be fine. I hope.

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**Chapter 3:** Die Another Day

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It's nearing 8:30 that morning when Kanda walks into the cafeteria and orders his usual tempura soba with tea. Walker is already there, still digging into his mountain of food that never seems to get any smaller.

It's disgusting, really, to watch the man inhale food as though it's last meal (it most likely would be if he was going to act silly and annoy Kanda the way Lavi did). At least the Finder next to him has manners, eating a somewhat smaller pile of food properly, yet quickly. If luck would have it, they'd leave him alone for the rest of the half hour he had to himself before the mission.

"Yuu-chan!"

Ah, but Lavi didn't figure into trivial things such as luck, Kanda reminds himself, nearly breaking his chopsticks at the same time. After all, Lavi fit into Murphy's Law the same way a penis fit into a—

Wait. That works out _too_ well.

Well, Kanda never was good with analogies.

_Anything that _can_ go wrong, _will_ go wrong, __if__ and __only if__ Lavi is in the immediate area._

And by immediate area, in Kanda's terms, he means _anywhere I can see, hear, or smell you._ If it's the last bit, then you are entirely _too_ close and within range of Mugen which would put your life on the line.

"Yuu! Yuu-chan! Hey, look over here, Yuu!"

Why can't the stupid rabbit just leave him alone to eat in peace? Kanda would do anything to achieve that level of tranquility, but since it's Lavi we're talking about, Kanda would rather die than make a deal with that idiot.

"_Yuuuuuuuu-chaaannn!"_

Kanda's hand slams down on the table, chopsticks snapping in half, as he spins around and sends icy steel daggers in the rabbit's direction, his eyes showing nothing but hate and a desire to _kill something_ right then and there.

"_What do you want, baka usagi?!_"

The entire cafeteria falls quiet, and Walker and the Finder pause in their.. eating.. to stare at Kanda and Lavi respectively. Kanda can feel his face threatening to heat up under the white-haired Exorcist's speculating gaze, but hell would have to freeze over before he lets Lavi get away with using his first name again.

Said red-head is looking as uncomfortable as anyone would on the receiving end of Kanda's recently perfected 'makes-you-feel-like-you've-pissed-your-pants' Death Glare©. In other words, he feels like he's done exactly what the label says; pissed his pants.

"Uh… Gee.. You look tired today, Yu—Kanda! N-not enough sleep last night?"

The glare darkens and another Gloom Cloud descends over the entire cafeteria hall. "No shit, Sherlock. I only get up at 4 in the morning _every __**fucking**__ day_. When you get smarter and start to value your _pathetic life_, _**don't call me that. Ever. Again.**_"

Finished with his ranting fit, Kanda stands up and whisks out of the room, hands clenched in a fist when not twitching to just take Mugen and cut up something. Namely, Lavi.

"… Master Kanda didn't finish his soba."

Lavi scratches his cheek with a finger. "Well, damn. He's not gonna happy during the mission, Allen. Not that he ever is.. but still."

"Ahaha… Lucky me. Thanks a lot, Lavi."

"You're very welcome, Allen!"

-

Walker and the Finder join him a few minutes later, the former complaining about leaving so much food behind. For some reason, Kanda expects Walker's hair to stick up a bit in the back. Every time Kanda looks at the shorter man, he seems more and more like someone Kanda has met before. Someone he never thought he would see again.

"Kanda!"

He looks up at the recently recruited Exorcist and scowls at his wide smile.

"Oh, come on. Don't be such a grouch. What's the mission, where are we going?" Walker asks with obvious enthusiasm.

"Didn't you read the mission specs?" Kanda replies, irritated, with a lot less energy than his partner.

Walker's face flushes a pale pink as he pouts. Adorable, really. Kind of like a death wish. "W-well, you took them with you last night! I can't read what I don't have!"

Instead of agreeing, Kanda scoffs and extracts the manila folder from inside his coat. The papers are clean and neat, save a few notes from Komui here and there. Oh, and a corner doodle by Lavi. That stupid rabbit.

"We're going to the Asia branch in China to meet up with some other Exorcists and search for one of the missing Generals. If, by any chance, we are to run into any other Exorcists, out due is to first get them to join us in the search, or else." Kanda reads monotonously, flipping through the rest of the papers to find profiles of the Exorcists they were going to meet.

"Er, Kanda? What happens if they refuse?"

Kanda remains silent and instead chooses to read the papers again.

"Kanda?" Walker tries again, a bit more tentatively. He sounds worried. Of course he would, emotional brat.

"Che. Read it yourself." Kanda sighs and tosses the folder over, watching amusedly as Walker nearly falls over the side of the boat trying to catch it.

"H-hey! That's not very nice, Kanda! What if I didn't catch it? We would've lost the folder!" Walker huffs indignantly, clutching the folder close to him as though it were some precious object.

"But you did catch it." Kanda points out, crossing his arms. "And your golf ball of a golem has the stuff recorded, too."

"It's Timcampy!"

"Whatever." The boat brushed up against a piece of the underwater ruins, jarring it to the side, and Kanda curses, grabbing onto the sides of the boat. "Hey, Finder! Pay attention to where we're going!"

"My apologies, Kanda-dono."

"Her name is Myria! She's the one who brought me here, so be nice!"

"Yeah, and? I don't like her. Or any other Finder out there, for that matter."

"Well Myria-san is the only Finder I get along with, so you better start liking her." Walker retorts despite the glare directed at him by one Yuu Kanda. Something about Walker's words seem fake and made up, but he ignores it.

"Shut up and read."

Walker looks offended but complies since he was planning on doing that anyway.

_"…Should any Exorcists, who have completed their mission and have reported back to the Order or are otherwise unburdened with tasks, be found, they will accompany Exorcists __Yuu Kanda and Allen Walker__ in searching for and escorting General Father Cross Marian back to the Order._

_By order of the Pope of the Church of England, should any Exorcist refuse, they are to be removed of their Innocence and tried for heresy…"_

"Tried… for… heresy..? But that's--!"

"By order of the Pope, if you refuse, Walker, you'll be tried, too." Kanda cuts in. He was surprised at the orders when he first read them, too, but accepted it as precaution against any more Fallen ones. He doesn't expect the newbie to know, and doesn't care to waste time explaining.

"I know that, but…" A distressed look passes over Walker's previously cheerful face and he sighs. "..that's a bit unfair…"

"What is?"

Walker shakes his head and places the folder and its papers back in Kanda's lap.

"..Nevermind."

-

The train rides from London to Germany, Ukraine, Russia, Kazakhstan, and some other countries Kanda can't pronounce are rather uneventful. Walker talks a lot, but he doesn't seem to be expecting any replies from the dark-haired Asian man, and doesn't ask too many questions, if any at all. Most of the time, he's occupied with eating as the trolley passes by with different types of snacks for him to sample.

Sometimes, they'd get off the train and walk around a little for fresh air and _real food_. Of course, being in the middle of Europe meant that there was less of a chance for a Japanese restaurant to show up, and Kanda has to settle for the variety of noodles that there were in each country.

Needless to say, being deprived of tempura soba (and tea) made him cranky, and he took out his anger on the Akuma that gather around them each time they get off the train.

Walker may be new to the Order, but he obviously has experience in fighting. A flock of Level 2s and some scattered Level 3s are no match for him alone, let alone both of them together. And while Kanda doesn't particularly mind letting Walker doing all the work, he needs to vent sooner or later.

Kanda has seen parasitic type Innocence a few times from Suman Dark and a few of the Generals, but Walker's is different. It's like armor, deflecting any and all Akuma bullets sent his way and even able to fend off Mugen's attacks to an extent. The black, silver and gold tipped claw is menacing, and he makes sure to stay out of its way.

"Master Kanda!"

Jerked from his thoughts, Kanda lashes out, cutting the nearest Level 1 in half along with the street lamp next to it. Cursing his lack of concentration, he proceeds to hack and slash at the crowd of Akuma that gathered around him.

Linali may be the fastest Exorcist, and Walker the strongest (though he hates to admit it), but they were only that when they had their Innocence invocated. Kanda is used to fighting without his, using pure brute strength and speed acquired through hard work and training.

However, with power came a price. Since Mugen specialized in close combat when not invocated, the life force Kanda needed to heal from wounds sustained from long-distance attacks was almost as much, if not more so, as the amount of life force he needed to keep his Innocence invocated. And against a Level 4, he almost didn't stand a chance without his Innocence.

His curse let him live, only to die another day.

Something presses against the back of his head, and he barely has time to react to the cry of '_Cross Grave_'. Looking behind him, Kanda stares down the barrel of one of the many gun-like things protruding from a Level 1 before it blows up, sending dust and rubble into the air.

He coughs and only succeeds to get more pollution into his lungs and the attention of a certain white-haired Exorcist.

"Kanda! Kanda, are you--?!" Walker sounds like he's going to break down at any moment, and looks like he would, when Kanda is able to see him through the dust clouds. "Thank God, I got here in time…"

"Did you think a Level 1 would kill me, bean sprout?" Kanda gives him a glare, ignoring the tired response, and picks his way through the rubble to a statue, sitting in a fountain in the middle of the town square.

"S-so this is the statue…" Walker mutters, rubbing unshed tears from his eyes. Really, the guy seems to worry too much about someone he's only just met two weeks ago. "..If a couple confesses their love to each other or proposes in front of the statue, their marriage will be wonderful and their life prosperous, but as soon as they move out of town, they all divorce.. or so the rumors state. Right, Myria-san?"

"That's correct, Master Walker." The brown-haired Finder nods from her place behind Walker. "It is clearly Innocence, judging by the abundance of Akuma in the vicinity. It's a wonder why they haven't tried to get it by now."

The Japanese man scoffs and kicks a chunk of stone aside, finishing off a Level 1 trying to hide underneath it. "Spineless freaks. Probably too afraid of the thing to get near it."

The statue itself isn't _that_ bad. Unless, of course, you're Yuu Kanda, and even then it's only _barely_ creative. The Innocence has been placed in the chest of a sculpture of none other than Cupid, his arrow pointing forever North.

"Soo.. any ideas how to get the Innocence, Kanda?" Walker asks. Kanda tries to hold back an exasperated sigh.

"We break it." _Duh._

"What?! But—I'm sure someone back at the Order would like it. Who knows, it might look good in Komui's offi—eek!"

"Don't even _think_ about it, Walker." Kanda hisses, all but shoving Mugen in the other man's face threateningly. "I do _not_ want to see that piece of shit _every time_ I go in."

"It is _not_ a piece of _shite_, Kanda!" Walker retorts. "It's just.. a bit.. eccentric."

"The way you pronounce _shit_ is revolting. Do shut up."

Walker huffs and paces around the statue, inspecting it from different angles. "..Anyway.. isn't there any other way to remove the Innocence?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't suggest breaking it. I never want to touch that thing while I'm alive."

"..Oh!" The white-haired Exorcist claps his hands together in resolution. "Hevlaska! She can get it out, right? "

Kanda flops down on the edge of the dried up fountain with less than acceptable grace. "And who's going to bring this lump of concrete back to the Order, Walker? Besides, we're here to collect the Innocence, not hideous artifacts."

Walker frowns. "But.."

"Look, Beansprout – "

"it's Allen!"

"-unless you want to send the Finder back to-"

"Her name is Myria."

"It's fine, Master Walker."

"-the Order with the statue," Kanda continues, ignoring the idiot and his companion. "you'll have to carry it yourself."

"What? Why me?!"

"Because I refuse to walk around with that… that.. _thing_."

Walker sighs as he tries to dislodge the statue from its pedestal. "It's _called_ 'Cupid's Blessings'."

"_I don't give a shit what it's called_, it's hideous. Period."

"You should have more respect for art! General Tiedoll would say the same thing, I know."

Kanda's eye twitches once, twice, and he stands up, drawing Mugen, and turning to face Walker and the stone figure.

"All the more reason to destroy that fucking thing before that creepy General sees—"

"Master Kanda!"

Pain rips through his chest, his eyes barely following the blade as it slices through bone and cartilage, staining itself and the ground in his blood, and he curses at the half-dead Level 2 and its ability to camouflage. A white cross spears the Akuma through the chest and it falls, blowing up into oblivion and Kanda falls back from the shock wave.

The pain in his chest coupled with the rock under his head isn't enough to knock him out. It's the rapid blood loss and the cold Russian weather that gets to him, and he can barely think straight or even remember that he has to speak English.

Or why he hasn't noticed this small detail until just now.

"_Baka moyashi… omae no me… nande.. kotto..?_" Blood tricks from the corner of his mouth and his eyes shut with a last withering glare at his partner.

"It's All—Kanda! Don't you dare die on me aga—Kanda! _KANDA!!_"

But it's okay, because Kanda won't die. He'll live.

He'll live, only to die another day.

-

* * *

-

AAAAAAANNNNDDD... CUT.

That's a wrap.

It's probably longer than it already is. 15 KB on wordpad. Maybe because I don't like really long paragraphs, so I split them up. I'm trying to break that habit.. but I know how it feels to be reading a super-duper-uberly long paragraph that just _want to skip_ and get on with the story. So yeah.

Heresy means "treason". Being tried for heresy is being accused of betrayal and treason, in this case, to the Pope and God, the Church, and stuff like that.

Kanda's last line in Japanese was supposed to be something along the lines of "Stupid bean sprout.. your eye.. why..?" But I'll admit that I'm not Japanese, and I don't trust translators, so I'm trying my best with what I remember from watching anime. Lol. XD

If anyone can give me the correct way to write it, I'll edit and thank you!

Allen says _shite_ because he's got that British accent which I'm going to try and remember to incorporate into this fic as much as I can.

On another note, the perspective may seem a bit strange, with it being "Walker" instead of "Allen" in the paragraphs, but that's because this is mostly from Kanda's POV, and he doesn't wanna call him "Allen" even in his thoughts, which is what makes up most of the non-dialogue. Because of that, some of the paragraphs might not flow, because our thoughts don't flow that much. So, yeah.

I'm _really_ not sure if that's what a mission document would look like, or if their vocabulary is even understandable, but that's a rough estimate. I tried to make it sound as official as possible. Meh.

Review. Flame. No, wait. Don't flame. You'll just light Lavi's hair on fire (that's bad, right?). I think. Does he use hair gel? He probably does.

_**Edit (January 17, 2009):** Changed everything (or tried to) to present tense._


	4. Fourth Shade: Scar Tissue

WOO. Chapter Four. The song "Scar Tissue" had no influence on the naming of this chapter whatsoever, but the song doesn't belong to me anyway, so there.

I HATH DRAWN A COVER PAGE. It sucks. Kanda looks weird. Allen doesn't.. look like Allen.. meh.. it's in black and white.. it sucks.

**REVIEWS.**

**Nusku** - Indeed, he can be.

**Wolfie559933** - Your pen-name is so unique that I now have it memorized. LOL. And Allen is obviously lying about only liking Myria, but I guess it wasn't that obvious. Meh..

There's also a reason for the incident with Allen's eye, and that's half explained in this chapter. I'm gonna try and put the rest of it in another chapter, if possible. I have so many things to hide that it's driving me in circles. D:

**xmystorytime** - Cross is not going to be tried for heresy.. or is he? :D DUN DUN DUUUNN. They're looking for Cross, and they have to take any Exorcist they find on the way with them to help. If those Exorcists refuse, then _they're_ tried for heresy. Hope that makes mroe sense. Yes, it is meant to be their "first mission", even though we all know it's not. It'll be explained as well in this and future chapters.

**SeikaDragon** - Dear, I love you and I'm not blaming you or anything but I'm having a hard time understanding your words. OTL'' So if I happen to misunderstand your review, drop me a PM please.

Yes, Kanda remembers and is wondering why Allen's eye isn't reacting. That will be explained later. :D

**xXJustAnotherFangirlXx **- ILU2 -glomps back- Again. Yup. I only hope it's mystery, because that can be revealed. If I'm leaving blanks, then that's a problem OTL".

**kyeewoo** - of course he's fine. He's Kanda. Kanda's always "fine". -cough- Er, yeah. He's fine. Absolutely pissed off, but fine. :D

And that's it for the reviews. :D

Much thanks to nataeiy1, TESHii-KOiiBiiTO, abuabu-chii, summar, and Beautiful Dragon Princess as well. I LOVE YOU ALL SO BLOODY MUCH. -SOB-

Also, about Allen and his Britishness, I'm not so much of a Brit maniac, so if anyone can pinpoint me to a website or sumthin that has words that the Brits use instead of our words, I will love you till the end of time. Or, at least till I get over Yullen, which isn't gonna happen anytime this century.

I am having him be as polite as possible, even though he's supposed to be rather rude to Kanda. But Kanda's rude to him too, along with everyone else he meets.

**Warnings:** Um, I guess **T** for cussing. Mostly on Kanda's behalf.

OH, there's a surprise about half-way through. I mean, more near the end, but... yeah... The shounen-ai finally starts with this chapter. Woot. Yullen action. Cheers.

I might want to put this now, so none of you start expecting anything. I'm not saying I have no experience in writing lemons or such, but the possibilities of this fic containing _graphic_ sex between anyone is very, very low. Like, 5 low. Maybe less. .;

There will be _implications_ of sex, but most likely no sex scene. Sorry.

Wow, I think I boosted this chapter's rating to M just for mentioning sex. LULZ. Okay then, it's **M** instead of T.

-

**

* * *

-**

**Chapter 4**: Scar Tissue

-

"Head trauma… blunt force.. some memory loss expected.. can't say.. much.. sight.. maybe.."

"I.. see.. Thank you, doctor."

_Shit_. Of all times to be out cold, it had to be now. His mind squirms at the thought of being helpless.

He can hear them talking next to him, the beansprout's voice is clearer than the stupid doctors. But his hands won't move, his eyes won't open (or are they open and he just can't see?), his mouth won't—

Ah, a scowl. Works just fine!

A wet cloth falls onto his face and someone curses softly before pulling it off, wiping his face dry and replacing the cloth on his forehead.

"Did you hear that, Kanda? You'll be just fine once the stitches are out. Doctor says you'll have some memory loss, maybe… but you'll be fine!"

Stitches? Impossible. Yuu Kanda _never_ gets stitches, and he's not going to start now.

"Geez… Look, Myria, even in his sleep he's not happy!"

Why, oh why, did he have to hear that stupid beansprout so clearly? If Kanda was asleep, he shouldn't be able to hear anything. But is he really asleep..?

"Perhaps Master Kanda is not fond of hospitals… or stitches, sir."

Sir?

"Myria-san, don't call me that in public.. It's.. well, weird.. and you're older than me."

"But, sir—"

"'But' nothing. Come on, let's go. Kanda needs rest… And I need food."

The Finder's voice and Walker's strained laugh fade away, and Kanda's semi-consciousness along with it.

-

The second Kanda's eyes are open, he finds the white-haired brat just about to sit down in the chair next to the hospital bed. All hell breaks loose and Kanda's kicking and bitching and screaming and trying to get out of the bed.

Well, more so of the last part than the first three, because Kanda had too much pride and dignity to kick and bitch (maybe..) and scream.

"K-Kanda! Calm down!" Walker says pushing the Asian man back onto the hospital bed with some help from the Finder.

"Explain, Moyashi. _Now._"

"It's _Allen_!"

Kanda's glare intensifies and Walker backs up the slightest of an inch, but otherwise holds his ground.

"Where's the Innocence?"

"Timcanpy has it."

"How long has it been?"

"Erm, a week since you were injured. You've been unconscious since then."

Kanda curses himself for spending a week in bed when they could have been looking for Cross. "..Where are we?"

"A hospital in Russia."

"Why the _hell_ haven't my wounds healed yet?"

"Er, that, well…" Walker trails off and looks to the Finder behind him, but she just shrugs and leaves the room, muttering something about food. He sighs and rubs his temples, silvery hair seemingly whiter, paler, and thinning out.

"I want answers, Walker."

The British Exorcist says nothing and Kanda snorts, leaning back in the bed to wait. After all, with a still healing wound, it's not like he can get discharged immediately like usually.

"I.. I called Komui.. and asked him about the tattoo on your chest." Walker mumbles, keeping his head down. "Linali took at look at the lotus in your room.."

Kanda gives Walker a look from the corner of his eyes. He looks and sounds exhausted and Kanda would've forced him to sleep and eat and get better if he were kinder than he is but he wants answers first.

"..Komui said you barely have two petals left."

-

Silence falls after Walker's statement and Kanda's mind is reeling with thoughts.

"That's impossible. I had 5 when I left. Are you sure you didn't hear wrong?"

Walker shakes his head in the negative. "You used up a petal for invocating during the fight in Germany, and the battle last week was pretty bad…"

Kanda knows Walker's lying, because he hasn't invocated at all during the trip, but chooses not to say anything about it. "How bad was it?"

"Er, what?" The beansprout looks up, his gray eyes dull and empty with fatigue.

"_How bad was it?_"

".. Uh.." Walker lets out a questioning hum and picks up a folder from the bedside table. The papers inside are filled with writing and some are x-ray copies. "..The doctor said that you had a severed pulmonary vein, your left lung was pierced, barely missed your stomach and punctured most of your intestines.. Cut clean through your sternum and ribs."

As Walker reads, Kanda mentally recoils. He's had pretty bad wounds before, and this was by far the worst. Walker somehow knows it as well and looks sick just by reading the paper. Two petals would barely be enough to heal completely.

Walker suddenly looks worried, as though he can read minds and knows Kanda's thinking about hurrying up the healing so they can get back to looking for Cross.

"Your organs are healed, Kanda, and so are your ribs and sternum.. It was a clean cut, so there weren't many fractures and such, but if you use the lotus to close up the wound, you'll be down to one petal!"

"So?" Kanda snaps back, glaring at the ceiling. "Better to finish this mission as quickly as possible than to worry about my li—"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, it's my fault you're like this!"

"Wh-what are you talking abo—erk!"

One second Walker is apologizing like his life depended on it, and the next second, Kanda is being pushed back against the pillow, the beansprout's arms locked around his neck, and he's crying and apologizing more than Kanda is comfortable with.

"..Oi, beansprout."

"It's Allen…"

Kanda rolls his eyes. "Che. Stop blaming yourself, idiot beansprout."

"I _am_ an idiot.. I should have killed that Akuma back then.. but I was irritated and I thought you would've been able to handle it, Kanda.. I didn't know it was camouflaged. It's my fault, I know it! I could have warned you or said something but I didn't and you almost _died_ because of it.."

Kanda doesn't say anything, he has nothing to say, and lets the boy (because he's not much of a man, in Kanda's mind, to cry over something like this) stay there and wet his shirt and get away with it alive and unharmed. He wonders why Walker cares so much.

They've only known each other for two weeks…

Right?

-

Kanda is admitted from the hospital two days later, under the condition that he's to avoid doing anything strenuous for the next week or so. Apparently, 'strenuous' includs running for too long, extensive workouts, lifting any more than 35 lbs. at once (which is ridiculous; what if Walker passed out or something?), and, of course… _fighting_.

"Well, that was a load of shit." He mutters, buttoning up the dress shirt under his Exorcist coat as they leave the hospital.

"Was not."

Kanda scoffs. "Whatever"

"Master Kanda, Master Walker," The Finder, Myria, approaches them with an envelope. "I've already taken Master Kanda's injuries into account for the next train. We'll be leaving tonight at 7, so you have until then to do as you wish. Your sword is with the bags and luggage at the hotel, Master Kanda."

"Where are you going to be until then, Myria-san?"

"Shopping. Russia has some interesting clothes and I'd like another chance to try them out. We'll be in Europe for a while, and the two of you will need thicker jackets." Myria smiles, almost as tired as Walker but not quite, and she leaves him to take care of Walker.

The section of town that they're in has been spared of the Akuma attack a week ago and is somewhat peaceful. Kanda honestly doesn't know what to do; he's never had much free time before, and even if he did, he'd spend it training. Because of his still healing wound, he can't do that, and usually he'd be all '_to hell with the stupid doctor's orders'_, but with Walker there, Kanda's thankful to even be able to move around.

Kanda finds himself back at the fountain, now missing a hideous cupid statue, and bloodstains on the ground. The town hasn't changed much since it was destroyed; some people ignored the rubble and still believed in the rumor of the statue, even if it was gone.

"Kanda…"

The Japanese man turns and looks at Walker, who looks surprised that Kanda even acknowledged him. Truth be told, he would've ignored Walker, but that might have led to more crying and other sad and sappy shit that Kanda wanted to avoid.

"Er.. How's the wound?"

Kanda presses a hand against the cut, flinching slightly at the pressure. Having to heal naturally is something Kanda hasn't done for a long, long time. Like, say, 15 years. Needless to say, he's a bit restless, and the prospect of having to sit around for the next week sickens him.

Kanda lets out a light scoff when he sees Walker's saddened expression. "Don't even think about it."

The last thing they need is for Walker to get all emotional and upset and distracted during a fight, especially since Kanda can't do his part. When the British Exorcist still looks guilty, Kanda grits his teeth and grabs Walker by his shoulders.

"For God's sake, it wasn't your fault! Stop fucking moping around, Walker!"

"But it _is_ my fault! You almost died because I didn't tell you about the Akuma! It's my fault, I know it, and I'm sorry, I should've told you. I—"

It's surprising, Kanda thinks, how much warmth the other man gives off, even in the freezing weather of Northern Russia, and his lips are no exception.

"…You talk too much, Walker." Kanda mutters, pulling the other into an awkward hug, hiding a wince at the weight on his wound. His cheeks are pink, but so are Walker's, and Kanda tells himself that it's just from the cold, despite the icky, warm, fuzzy feeling from the chaste kiss. "It's not your damn fault, so shut it."

"Kanda.. did you just..?"

And he kisses him again, longer this time, and Kanda finally accepts that the burning on his skin isn't from the cold, and that the pull at his chest when Walker returns the kiss isn't from the wound.

It's something better. Emotions. Feelings. Things he had casted away years ago when a certain someone went missing. Someone.. like…

_Allen Walker._

-

"Sir.. are you okay?" Myria asks from outside the train compartment.

"Yeah.. I'm fine, Myria-san."

She pulls down her hood, brushing the remains of winter snow from her dark brown hair. They're on the train now, and Kanda has fallen asleep against the side of the train compartment.

Allen scoots closer to the Asian man and tugs him over to lean on his shoulder instead. Kanda mumbles something incoherent, his face pinching into a frown before relaxing again and Allen laughs quietly.

"..Sir, did you.. well, did he..?"

Allen doesn't answer. He lifts a hand and brushes Kanda's bangs out of his face. It's almost unbelievable how such a grouchy man can be so.. handsome. Beautiful, even.

"..I think he's starting to remember, Myria-san.." Allen sighs, blowing at his own silvery bangs. "He'll be the first.."

The compartment door opens and Myria looks in.

"Sir?"

"I'm.. kind of happy.. that he remembers.. if only a little bit."

She is silent for a moment before entering and closing the door behind her, taking a seat across from the two Exorcists, not caring how close they are.

"Sir.. is it.. _good_.. that he remembers? Wasn't there a reason behind all of this? You said.." She trails off, and, after a moment, pulls out a pair of thick jackets and hands it to Allen. He drapes one over Kanda's shoulders and the other over himself with a murmur of gratitude. Even though the compartment provides shelter from the harsh, icy winds, it doesn't keep much of the cold out.

"Maybe it's better if Kanda remembers, if no one else.. There might be something behind this, though."

"You won't make him forget again?"

"I don't know…" A faint smile flits across Allen's face. "No else remembers, and Kanda isn't one to stay quiet about something like this.. He never was.."

Allen laughs, strained and choking back tears, cradling his head in a gloved hand.

"After all.. it wouldn't do them any good if they remember what I did to them… and the Order."

-

* * *

-

This thing is so short. It's like, barely 2,100 words. They're getting shorter and shorter. There's not even any _action_ in this chapter (you know what I mean). I mean, _one-third_ of it is author notes. How lame is that? DD: I FEEL LIKE I FAIL. -sob-

Just some plot revealing, I think. Not much.

Kanda's getting tired of flames. He wants soba. Really. Tempura soba. And tea. No flames. No reviews. Just tempura soba.

And tea.

Kudos to anyone who wants to take a jab at what "It's Not All Black and White" means before I end up revealing the meaning.

If you've already known way before I told you to actually think about it, I applaud you.

Applaud. That looks weird. Lol. OTL'' That was so lame.

P.S.: Yuna-the-Exorcist showed me a link to the NewS commercial and the DGM dancing one. WE'RE GONNA LEARN THE DANCE. She's got Allen's dance down, and I just have to get my timing down for Kanda's. MY GOD, IT'S SO COMPLICATED. OTL'' If I can find the music, we're gonna try and perform it at Fanimecon this year. If anyone knows where I can get the music, I will love you till I die. I would say "I swear to God" but I don't believe in god, and swearing to god is kinda of... meh...

Nyan. I think you guys will find the next chapter's title interesting. Lol.

Bye.

_**Edit (January 17, 2009):**__ Changed everything (or tried to) to present tense, added some things, took some out, and the like.  
_


	5. Fifth Shade: Cross and Marian

And heeeereeee's Chapter 5! So I really didn't spend that much time editing it... it went from 1,900 words originally to 2,200. Gee whiz. I fail at this stuff. There's like, one scene transition...

Well, this chapter will answer some questions you may have about Allen's position, and give you more questions to ponder about Kanda and his curse. :D I'm ruining it for you guys. I should let you figure it out on your own, buuuuut... yeah. I really do love you guys.

**Reviews!** I'm not going to answer all of them. God knows most of the fic will be review replying, so I'm gonna try and cut it down to just those who have some questions or sound interesting. D

**ThisUsernameIsVeryCreative**: I've already answered to your reply. I'm just putting you here because your username is very creative. :D Thanks for reviewing!

**nataeiy1**: I hope that's a good thing. .; You'll find out, along with everyone else when I reveal it, what Allen did :D

**Wolfie559933**: YOU... sorta win. SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES, indeed. Half right, not quite so. Will stop speaking riddles. Won't tell you what's right and what's wrong. .; because I'm an arse like that.

AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO REVIEWED/added this fic to their alert, THANK YOU. I will stop taking up fic space with reviews nao. Get to reading. :D

**Warnings/Rating:** **T**. Cussing. Half-nudity on Kanda and Allen's behalf. They don't do anything, _I swear_. Sorry, burst your bubble. Kidding. I'm not sorry. .

**DISCLAIMER:** Why didn't I put this in before? Maybe I was just _secretly wishing you all thought I owned -Man and would bow down before my wonderful self_, but alas.

I just forgot. Don't sue me.

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* * *

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**Chapter 5:** Cross and Marian

-

In the dark abyss of Kanda's mind, he can see a set of black shapes, outlined in white, twisting and molding. He reaches for his katana on instinct only to find it missing, and he realizes that this isn't real. He's not being attacked. It's just a dream.

The blobs drift closer, pinching and stretching, growing longer and larger until they're all around him, 14 in all. Some were bigger than others, but they were all becoming the same shape.

Crosses.

14 crosses circle around him until the single white cross stops in front of him. Like the black ones, its ends were tapered off to a point and seemed to be reaching for the other crosses, almost touching. He wonders what happen if they do.

Suddenly, the white cross connects to two black ones and his chest flares up and burns, as though someone has driven a white hot knife into it and left it there. Kanda's mouth drops open but there's only a soundless scream as he watches, side-eyed, as another cross inches closer and closer to a connected one.

Kanda's chest flares up again, his tattoo glows a bright red, pulsing energy throughout his body, and the cross stops moving. A moment later, the light emitted by his curse dims and the cross moves again.

Flare, pulse, pause, and repeat, over and over, again and again, the repetition and burn taxing his restraint to its limits until the cross finally connects.

Kanda feels like he's been cut up, dumped in boiling oil, then thrown onto a bed of lit coals. It hurts all over and even though he knows it's not real, he can't help but shout out in pain. It's too much, the metaphorical and literal knives and daggers and red-hot iron pokers and other sharp objects jabbing into his arms and legs and chest and—

Another one connects. He knows, because he can see and feel it. This time, he can't move his arms or legs, like they've been speared to the ground by some thin, unknown object. The same object pierces his shoulders, his chest, stomach, thighs, everywhere, and he can't move at all.

A second later he can move again but there's so much pain that he can only thrash about, clutching at his burning chest and head, failing to suppress his shouts of pain. His curse is smoldering through his skin, continuously giving off light and energy but it doesn't help the pain, just adds to it, and the crosses keep moving and connecting.

There're only 7 crosses left by the time the pain starts to slow down.

His curse doesn't pulse anymore and instead gives off a steady pink light. When his vision clears, he sees a sort of golden halo around him, and a faint pink light above him from a floating lotus blossom. The crosses have stopped moving altogether and the pain is dulling, fading away, as piano music drifts in.

The song, he's sure he has heard it somewhere before, it's so familiar that Kanda is almost relieved to find something he _knows_, even though he doesn't know _why_ it's so familiar.

The wounds are gone, healed, as though nothing ever happened, and his body doesn't ache so much anymore. The 7 unconnected crosses twist back into shapeless masses and drift further away as the piano continues playing. It's soothing and Kanda doesn't know what to make of it all. The crosses, his flaring curse, the pain, the music that calms him down..

He watches a lotus petal fall off the floating flower and land next to him. His chest twinges uncomfortably as another one falls. Another, and another, seven out of thirteen fall down.

One by one, a darker, almost black petal sprouts out of the ground (was it even solid ground?) from the spot where the fallen ones landed, until seven murky colored petals are holding him up, each stamped with a tapered cross. Black liquid drips from the edges of the flower with a consistency similar to blood.

The notes are louder now and Kanda feels heavy, and tired, which is strange, since he should already asleep. The golden light dims slightly and a heavy warmth settles over him, putting out the remaining burn, telling his eyes to close and his mind to stop worrying over a dream and just.. _sleep._

One of the petals from the flower above him starts wilting, threatening to fall.

Kanda wonders how much time he has left until the last petal joins the rest of them in the darkness.

-

"I knew you were enjoying it too much, idiot apprentice."

Kanda can hear again. He can't see, but he knows that his eyes aren't open, so he's not too worried about that part.

However, he _is_ worried about the idiot who's lying on top of him and just _begging_ to be speared through by Mugen.

"Am not!"

The whole front of Kanda's body burns, but it's not in a bad way. The weight on his chest shifts, bare skin against bare skin, and his breath catches and his eyes snap open.

As soon as his eyes focus, he lets out a low, dangerous snarl.

"_What the fuck do you think you're doing, Moyashi?_"

Kissing is one thing. Lying half naked in the same bed is just was beyond Kanda's comfort zone.

"Bloody He-" Walker jumps back and off the bed with a crash. Kanda rolls over and glares down at the flushing Exorcist. "Don't _do_ that!"

"_You_ were on _me_, Walker. Care to explain?"

"Er, well, you had a fever and it wouldn't go down and Myria-san said it worked where she came from and we thought it would help your fever and—don't look at me like that!" Walker squeaks out the last bit, flushing red again as Kanda raises an eyebrow in amusement.

"What the hell are you guys _doing_ over there?"

Kanda jerks up and the sudden change in position causes him to lose balance and he topples over the side, elbowing Walker in the ribs in an attempt to catch himself.

"_Ow!_"

"Shut it, Walker." Kanda growls and looks around, searching the source of the cynical laughter.

"Up here, pretty boy."

Kanda's gaze sweeps over the entire room, white-washed and almost blinding to his eyes. There's a huge tiled mirror to his left, at one end of the bed, and plain white walls. It's a completely plain room, no tables, no furniture save a couch and bed. There's not even a _door_.

More into the corner is a black piano, the only thing that in the room that isn't white besides themselves. On the lid sat two objects; one gold, one silver. The golden orb shoots up, wings flapping out, and it flutters over to the bed and makes itself comfy on Kanda's head, to his annoyance.

Walker finds it kind of cute, seeing as he's giggling like a stupid girl.

A rough laugh comes from the silver object as its own metallic colored wings flare out. Unlike Timcanpy, however, the silver golem stays where it is, flapping feebly in an attempt to fly.

"Shut the fuck up."

"Watch your language, boy." The voice says again, undoubtedly the one and only General Father Cross Marian that they're looking for and have been for the past two and half weeks.

The silver golem's mouth opens with a snarl, projecting an image of the General and all his glory into the air.

"It looks like your wound is gone, boy." Cross remarks, smirking, still looking as handsome as ever and still wearing the mask on the left side of his face, though it's smaller this time, and the cross is black and tapered at the ends.

Kanda finds the cross on the General's mask to be very familiar.

He looks at his chest and sees that the stitches have indeed healed, leaving only a pale scar where the wound once was. Kanda also takes notice of his curse tattoo, now resembling a warped lotus that overlaps one end of the healed wound.

"Well, he's here now, so it's okay if he heals." Walker smiles, his face still returning to its original color. "It would have been dangerous and troublesome if he ran out of petals on the way to China…"

"Which reminds me," Kanda interrupts, glancing between Walker and Cross. "General Cross obviously has no qualms about being found. You're able to contact him, Walker, so shouldn't we report back to the Order?"

"Nope."

Kanda refrains from glaring. "Enlighten me."

"We're heading for Japan in the few days after we contact Asia branch and let them know we're safe for the time being." Walker explains, tugging at Timcanpy's tail when the golem refused to be displaced from atop Kanda's head. "Or so Master Cross says."

"Why can't we contact the Order headquarters?"

"Oh, we can contact the Order! Lavi and Linali should be informed that we're fine and dandy. But we can't report back, because the, er.. _higher ups_... can't have the gen." Walker says quietly and Kanda frowns, partly in disapproval of the whole matter, and partly out of confusion.

Despite wanting to know what '_have the gen_' meant, Kanda holds back on his question and addresses something else that he's been wondering about since he woke up.

"So, we're not at Asia branch, yet. We're not at a hospital, because it doesn't smell like shit in here, and we just left one. Where are we, then?"

"What, are you _mental_? Don't tell me you don't re—"

"He _doesn't_, Master Cross! We've been through this already!"

"I don't _what_?" Kanda presses. He's exasperated at the half sentences, blanks, and lack of answers.

"Nothing, Kanda, nothing at all! At least… nothing you need to know as of yet." Walker smiles, a somewhat genuine smile unlike the false ones Kanda has seen up to now, and Kanda hates that he's calming down instead of being irritated like he usually is about big silly smiles. "And to answer your first question, we're in the 14th's room on the Ark."

"The Ark? According to mister high and mighty Cross over there, the Ark is broken."

"Are you on something?" Cross laughs again, finding the situation to be overly amusing. "What'd you do to them, idiot apprentice? That's just _rich_."

"Kanda, _sit down_!"

And Kanda obeys because Timcanpy is flapping angrily in his face, fangs bared, hissing loudly. Cross chuckles as Walker tries to placate the infuriated golem.

"What the hell is wrong with that fluff ball, Walker?" Kanda growls while moving his head to avoid a seemingly painful bite at his nose.

"His name is _Timcanpy_." Walker groans, snatching Tim back by the tail and letting it gnaw on a gloved finger. "Tim doesn't like anyone but me and Master Cross getting near Ergald."

"_Eagarudo_? What kind of name is that?"

"No, no, _Ergald._ Er-gald."

"…I hear _Eagarudo, _idiot."

"I'm _British_ and I have an _accent._ So sue me."

Kanda mutters a 'whatever' and looks around the empty room again. He sees Mugen propped up against a wall and can't help but wonder why it's so far away from them.

"Well, sitting here and watching the two of you fight like an old married couple is interesting, but I'd hate to hang around and chat." Cross drawls, putting out his cigarette on an ash tray. "The transmission ends here, idiot apprentice."

"Eh?"

"Marks will be meeting up with you soon, so don't be having _too_ much fun, lover boys." The General laughs at Walker's indignant sputtering and the image flickers out.

"I will _murder_ that General some day." Kanda grits his teeth, eyebrow ticking in irritation. "And who's 'Marks'?"

"Oh, er, he'll be joining us later for the mission."

"..Huh. He wasn't one of the Exorcists on the list." Kanda muses, dodging another attack by Timcanpy before punching it towards the large mirror. It didn't even leave a scratch as the golem ricocheted off, hissing angrily.

Walker smiles in amusement and motions at Timcanpy. "That's because he isn't an Exorcist."

The golden golem stops harassing Kanda and flies over to the piano, pressing a single note by sitting on it. A section of the wall behind Kanda gives way and a door opens, showing the white pathway to a Southern style suburban setting. Walker steps out and turns back, as though telling Kanda to follow, which he would have even without prompting.

"That is, Stephen Marks isn't one that we plan on letting the higher ups in the Order use for their own sick ideals."

-

* * *

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Clumsy!Kanda and British!Allen. Er, does that count? Allen's already British...

Meh. Cross didn't do much in this chapter. I couldn't focus on him. e.e;... Well, he'll appear later. I just put him in for the sake of the chapter title. It sounded cool to me. ;

Who's the new Exorcist? Or non-Exorcist? Oh, the mystery!

Until the divider line thing has been fixed, I'll be using dashes. Stupid thing. Won't show my divider lines.

This fic has been placed on the alerts of **32** people. I love you all.

Review if you want. Flame if you want.

Just remember, _don't use the flamethrower._ Please and thank you.

**_Edit (January 17, 2009):_**_ Fixed a few things._


	6. Sixth Shade: Memories of the Past, Act 1

Shit, this chapter's long. I mean, this HALF OF A CHAPTER, is 2.5k words alone... I didn't want you guys to spend FOREVER reading a single chapter, so I've broken it into two "acts", which is sort of explained later on.

KANDA TORTURE. If you don't like, don't read. But really, you need to read this or you'll kinda be lost later on. Lol.

THE PAST IS FINALLY REVEALED. It's time for all of you shits to see if your theories are correct, if you have any. If not, come up with one. Right now. No, really. Make up a theory.

I'm kidding. You don't have to.

Some more questions are answered, not as many are asked. Maybe some, if you read it over a few times and actually start thinking "WHYWHYWHY?!" like a broken tape-recorder, but otherwise.. not much.

This chapter is mostly flashbacks, so there's a LOT of italics. I need those, so you'll remember that it's a flashback and not present time. You dig? Okay.

Let's do reviews first!

**Wolfie559933**: Yeah, he's an OC. I'm sorry. I should've just used, like, Crowley or something, but... meh.. this'll probly be the ONLY OC that does anything in my fic.. Myria aside. I need her. There are some other OCs who're just there to die for the sake of plot. Lulz. I actually had the Finder later mentioned in this chap be an OC, but then I just changed him to be one that Allen and Kanda (hopefully) met before. There's more British in here :D I hope.

**uniFsky**: I tried to make it as much of a of an incident as possible, but alas.. I probably didn't meet your expectations. -sigh-

And thanks to Dr. Composed, Sabriel666, Xiao Yue Er, Winged Golden Tiger, Girl on the Computer and everyone else who reviewed!

**Warnings:** M. Cursing. F-bomb times.. like.. 46197593625. Yeah. Mentions of Yullen lovin', which I'm sure we'll all find humurous. Hopefully. If not, then oh well. I'll try harder next time.

**DISCLAIMER:** OH! I remembered to put this here! I don't own -Man! I don't own Allen, I don't own Kanda. I DO own Stephen Marks, Myria, and... that's all.. I fail, don't I? Oh. I own this plot bunny, too.

Down there is the actual title of the chapter, but it was too long... WAH. D: The real title does NOT correlate with the title it's published under. Just so you know.

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**Chapter 6:** Remembrance Benevolence, Act 1

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Kanda only faintly remembers meeting up with Stephen Marks before they headed to Japan using the Ark. His home country was bleak and empty, barely a shadow of the thriving island it used to be.

Kanda remembers the lotus pond from his childhood memories. The flowers were glowing in the darkness of the night, reminding him of the floating lotus he'd seen in his dreams. It was then that his chest started burning again and halted when Walker and Marks found him.

That was three days ago.

-

Kanda doesn't know how long it's been since the pain started. All he knows, all he can think about, is the pain, and all he wants is for it to _stop_.

"Kanda! _Kanda!_"

His eyes are wide and unfocused, unseeing, staring blankly as a wave of pain tears his mind in half for the third time that night. He hears, but doesn't understand. He sees, but doesn't know what he's looking at, doesn't recognize it. It's just a mass of colors and shapes.

A dark chocolate brown blob moves over him, concern etched onto the face.

"Stephen, hold him down, _please_!"

"I got it, I got it!" The reply is light, a hint of strain, and overall cheerful, and Kanda doesn't understand how this person can be so positive when he's shouting in pain, something he never does.

A wet cloth presses against his forehead, just like it had whenever he woke up during those last three days, and he barely flinches at the pressure. He wants to thrash, move, do _something_ to relieve himself of the pain, but with both Marks and Myria holding him down, there's little he can do except bear with it.

The towel comes off and he sees red on white and the pain is back, his body is burning again, shocks running up his spine and up to his head, burning, burning. Just like in his dream.

Except that now, his tattoo has given up on glowing and those 14 accursed crosses, there's only two left floating around. The rest are linked in a chain around him, almost a perfect circle, pulsing and vibrating and sending jolt after jolt of electricity through his body and he's reminded of his battle with Skin Boric all over again.

One of the crosses joined the linked ones and Kanda can't even hear or think beyond trying to _stop_ the pain.

"'Ey, Brit! What about the music? Tried that yet?"

"There's no _piano_, in case you haven't noticed, Marks. Where's Tim?! _TIM!!_"

"Oh, hey, there he is. Tim! Take us to the Ark, 14th's room, please and thank you!"

A flash of light blinds Kanda for a moment and then he's on a bed, one he's been on before. He only sees the white ceiling, but he doesn't care, because the pain, though ebbing, is still persisting, trying to tear his mind up and _kill him_.

Walker moves again and Kanda screams in agony as the pain comes back full force, his throat raw and bleeding. He clenches his teeth but it doesn't help, just makes it worse.

"Stephen, play the piano!"

"_WHAT?!_"

Kanda feels Walker's feverish hand on his forehead and snarls at the idea of being touched by the beansprout, only to hold back when his body doesn't quite hurt as much as before the touch.

"Just go!"

"Fine, fine, but I can't play to save my life, Brit-boy."

The horribly played notes hurt Kanda's ears, even though he has no taste for music. It's the same song from his dream, though rather.. shitty… but it helps, if only a little bit. Slowly, he's conscious of the mattress underneath him, of the terrible song, the blood in his throat, in his mouth, on his forehead…

And then, as if to spite him, his curse flares up one last torturous time and he sits up swiftly, clutching at his chest and head, painfully coughing blood into his palm. His eyes open and, through the pain and throbbing headache, he sees his blood. It's dark, too dark to be his. Almost black. Black blood.

And then Walker's behind him, arms wrapped around Kanda's, murmuring nonsense in his ear like '_shhh_' and '_you'll be fine_' and Kanda's mind just shuts down and accepts the welcoming embrace, wanted or not.

_Soushite bouya wa nemurini tsuite_

_Ikizuku haino nakano honoo_

_Hitotsu… futatsu to ukabu fukurami_

_Itoshii yokogao…_

The splitting ache in his head is now just a light pulsing, barely there, and Kanda just breathes heavily, twitching every now and then. Walker may not have the best Japanese accent, but the lullaby is working. Kanda wonders how Walker knows the song, how he can sing it with near perfect pronunciation, even though he's not of Japanese descent.

Back in his dream world, Kanda's still lying on the black lotus, and all the petals have fallen from the glowing one. Only the center remains, turning slowly, still giving off a soft light. Then it lengthens, tapers off, into a white cross and settles down on Kanda's body in almost the same position as when Jesus was crucified.

He feels heavy, being forced down into the black center of the dark lotus. It's really not solid ground. It's not even _solid_, nothing is in this world.

But Kanda refuses to turn into the darkness like his lotus did.

-

_"Kanda! That's your name, right? Pleased to meet you."_

_"…Like I'd shake hands with a cursed person."_

-

Images flood into his mind, things he can't remember, things he doesn't want to remember. Like the first Level 4 Akuma in the Order, when Walker almost died. Kanda admits he was worried, though he'll never voice it.

He can hear Linali, Lavi, Komui, Reever, Johnny, everyone he's met before, all speaking at once. Some things he's heard before, others he hasn't. Didi, Zu, Tapp, Miranda, Crowley, Marie, Daisya, fucking _Tiedoll_, too…

The blanks in his memories are being filled, scenes patched together with little white and black outlined crosses at the edges. He notices that most of the blanks are Walker's.

And then, starting 2 years ago, his memories are empty with little bits scattered here and there, barely a speck compared to the black void. The curtain falls, and he's watching those two years being replayed from afar like one would watch a play. Except that this is real.

These are things he's forgotten.

_((A/N: From here on, it's one long flashback that continues and ends half-way through chapter 7.))_

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**Scene 1**

**-**

"What?!"

Kanda and the other Exorcists were called to the Science Department for a brief meeting. For what, he didn't know, but the second those words were uttered…

"W-what do you mean, nii-san..?" Linali whispers, tears sparkling in her eyes and threatening to fall.

"Komui, you bastard, don't screw with us!" Lavi is standing up and glaring at Komui, livid.

"No.. it can't be.." Miranda sobs, covering her face with both hands.

"..Allen.." Crowley mutters, otherwise speechless.

Komui looks grave and serious as he continues doing paperwork, something he's been going at for a while now. He sets down the pen and laces his fingers together, brow furrowed in hidden worry.

Kanda doesn't want to be here. He wants to be anywhere _but_ here. He wants to be _out there_, searching for that damned beansprout if only to stop everyone's moping and whining.

"According to a report from General Father Cross Marian, General Allen Walker... is dead."

Linali is crying now, and the door slams shut loudly, Kanda's stomps echoing in the hallway.

-

**Scene 2**

-

It's been two weeks, and everyone in the Order is gloomy. Kanda can't even bring his Gloom Cloud with him or Linali will break down all over again and Komui will swoop down and harp on him and.. it's just not worth it.

Then again, Kanda's been on edge as well. Even Lavi has stopped teasing him because even the slightest annoyance will set him off.

And then there's the golem in his room.

Timcanpy showed up out of nowhere three days ago with a clip to show everyone at the Order.

-

"Michael.. Michael!"

The clip started with Walker searching for the Finder that was with him.

"Myria, have you found him yet?"

"Negative, General Walker."

"Blast it.. Myria, Akuma to your left!"

"Roger that."

Walker finds Myria, a recently joined Exorcist, in the middle of a sea of tripwires, Akuma parts scattered about.

Suddenly, the buildings explode, stone and rubble flying in Myria's direction.

"Myria!"

Walker, hero that he is, rushes to her, using Crown Clown to deflect the rocks away.

"General--!"

He looks back for a single moment and one of the stone pieces turns out to be an Akuma. By the time Walker realizes what has happened, the rock has sprouted claw-like legs and are holding him in place. Myria's eyes widen but she can't lay down tripwires with the Akuma attached to Walker.

And that's her mistake.

Another Akuma lands between them, blade-claws extended, red blooding staining the metal. Walker's blood. The Level 3 self-destructs soon after and both Exorcists are thrown back by the shockwave.

By now, Lavi and Linali are pale, the latter crying silently. Komui is obviously trying not to stay calm, and so is Kanda.

"Walker.. General Walker.. General!" Myria cries out, looking rather pale as she stumbles over the ruins to the smoking pile that is undoubtedly Allen Walker. "Thank God, he's still alive.."

And then, a Level 3 falls onto Walker's body, a protruding blade piercing the white-haired General through the heart and Kanda can hear the sound of crunching bone – or maybe that's just Myria getting her own chest speared through.

The Akuma freezes and falls into two pieces. Before the smoke behind it clears, Timcanpy closes its mouth and prompts a password.

-

**Scene 3**

-

For the past three days, they've tried everything. Recreating the Ark's piano lullaby, every religious and non-religious phrase Lavi can think of or remember. Linali has locked herself up in her room for a while now, coming out only for food and showering, and occasionally to serve coffee. The only other she'll be out is when Lavi is trying out phrases.

Kanda himself won't believe it. Walker isn't one to die so easily. Even with the video playing out in front of him, he refuses to believe that Walker is dead. Never.

"…_warheit gegen freund und feind_."

Nothing.

"Give up, usagi. Just because Walker was in Germany doesn't necessarily mean the password is in German." Kanda gripes, sick of listening to the rabbit spout random shit in a foreign language. "And get Lotto if you plan on doing German. Your accent is horrible."

"How would you know?"

"Shut up."

"Well, _Yuu_, since you're obviously so _enthusiastic_, let's try some _Japanese_." Lavi smiles wickedly, hiding an irritated scowl. "Say 'I love Allen Walker' in that drop dead _sexy_ accent of yours."

"Fuck you."

"Harsh, Yuu. Harsh."

Before Kanda can throw anything back, Linali starts pleading, half out of desperation, half wanting to hear his not-so-confession.

"No."

"Please, Kanda! Just once."

"_No._ How do you even know it's the right phrase?"

"Just because. Please? I'll love you forever!"

"Wh—_absolutely_—"

She's in tears now, and Kanda really doesn't want to entertain the idea of Komui chasing him up and down headquarters.

"—hate all of you." Kanda glowers, hand twitching for Mugen at Lavi's excited whoop. Within seconds, word has spread and most of the Order is in the Science Department, crowded around the Japanese Exorcist.

"Whoo! Go Yuu!"

"Urusai. Just gimme the golem, shithead."

"It's 'I love Allen Walker'!"

"I thought it was 'I love you, Allen Walker'."

"Why the hell do I have to say 'love'?!"

"Because, Kanda, we all know you love him!"

"_Shut up, usagi._"

"Just do it!"

_Ugh._

Kanda sighs and takes a deep breath, willing his face not to heat up as he prepares to recite words that he has sworn never to say to anyone.

"...I refuse to do this."

"Damnit, Kanda!"

-

**Interlude**

-

There's a fuzzy area, blurred images he can't see or make out. There's something there, some that _used_ to be there, but it's being blocked, erased, suppressed. Kanda's got no reason to hide anything, so he wonders why he's not able to see this part of his memories.

So the only solution is…

Someone's suppressing them. Someone doesn't want him to see, to know.. to hear.

But who..?

-

**Scene 4**

-

It turns out that 'I love Allen Walker' was indeed the password.. but not to the video clip that they wanted to see. This one was recorded before Walker left to look for Michael.

"Everyone…" Walker fumbles around with his hands, wringing them nervously with that silly smile on his face. "Well.. I'll come clean and admit that.. I don't think I'll be returning from this mission."

Kanda can only stare at now nonchalant the 15-year-old sounds as he speaks, like he hasn't a care in the world.

"I mean, I'd rather get banged by Kanda than leave all of you at the Order.." He flushes pink and ducks his head down. "Although I, er.. might have already done that.. once or twice.. probably."

A few people turn to look at the samurai whose eyebrow ticked in irritation at the attention. "Yuu?! How could you?!"

"Che. We were drunk, and it was your fault, baka usagi."

"Oh.. yeah.. but still--!"

"Well, if you're watching this, you've got the wrong clip, but that's okay!" Walker grins, clapping his hands together, and Lavi turns his attention back to the golem. "Because I'm going to give you the password. However! You absolutely _cannot_ use it!"

"Huh?"

"Why would he bother telling us, then..?"

"Here's the password! Kanda will know what it means, not that it really matters.." Walker coughs and clears his throat with a soft 'ahem'.

_Timucanpi wa Inosensu._

"That's a weird password," Lavi remarks, scratching his cheek. "Let's try it! Timcanpy—"

"No!" Chaoji sputters, almost all to glad to stop the Bookman successor from uttering the words by clapping his hand over Lavi's mouth. "If he says we shouldn't use it, then we shouldn't!"

"Okay, okay, _chill_." The rabbit grumbles, shoving the other Exorcist away.

"But! Guess what?"

Something about Walker's sing-song voice sets off an alarm in Kanda's mind and he backs off, reaching for Mugen at his side.

Walker's porcelain pale skin darkens to a grayish-brown, a set of crosses lines his forehead, and his gray eyes melt into gold. He holds up a 'V' sign with a wide, freakish grin.

"I've already said the password!"

"Lavi--!"

Chaoji shoves Lavi aside just as a white light impales the ground where he was sitting. The beam splits and rotates into an all too familiar shape.

"The Ark..!"

And from the Ark emerged an all too familiar face and smile.

Drawing Mugen from its sheath, the Japanese man briefly wonders why the beansprout's cursed eye isn't reacting, even as countless more Akuma fill up the Science Department.

The General finds Linali's shocked face and grins. An ox-like Akuma steps out, the white-haired General on its shoulder, and he waves with a mock salute.

"Good evening, Black Order."

Kanda smirks grimly. "_Konbanwa.. Aren Woka._"

-

**END ACT 1**

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* * *

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LOOKY LOOKY, Noah!Allen. Or is it? Keep asking. Keep wondering. You'll find out in Act 2.

That German phrase means "Truth despite friend or foe". I got it from the back of my collegiate dictionary. Lol.

"Konbanwa" means "good evening" if anyone's wondering. Aren Woka is.. obvious. Allen Walker. Lol. In Kanda's **drop dead **_**sexy**_ accent. Hm. You notice he's never really SAID Allen's name in the anime...

Any missing things? Tell me! This chapter was beta'd by Yuna-the-Exorcist, but I don't trust her (lol). So, if you find anything else wrong, like typos, or stuff you don't understand, just drop a line and I'll clear it up!

Fan the flames! Feed the fire! Strip Kanda and Allen and shove them into a room together! With the lights out!

And a bottle of lube on the dresser. Lol.

_**Edit (January 17, 2009):**__ Added one scene, changed layout, added dividers._


	7. Shade Seven: Memories of the Past, Act 2

LOL. Somehow, the website said that this chapter had **2,666** words. And then it changed to over 3.3k words. Weird. 666. Lulz.

Altogether, the flashback chapters total almost six thousand words. Aren't you glad I didn't make you read all six thousand words in one go? I'm glad I didn't have to. Just typing this (half) chapter was a chore.

On to the reviews!

**FireNose**: Copied straight from Wiki. "Allen Walker (アレン・ウォーカー, Aren Wōkā) is the main protagonist of the series." Even though we all know Wiki can't be trusted... but.. still.. XD Thanks for, er, trying to point it out though. I guess Uoka works too.. no matter how weird it looks. XD

Originally, I had Kanda actually say "_Aishiteru yo, Aren Woka_" in the story, but I couldn't get access to any of my online Japanese translator sites to check to see if it was correct... so I left it out. And when the password unlocked the clip, the first thing Allen said was supposed to be "Love you, too, BaKanda."

D: I left out another Yullen moment. Meh. I'll make up for it in this and the next chappie, hopefully. Thanks for the rest of your review. :D

**love is but an element**: I cannot reveal anyting. You must read on and find out for yourself. :D

**xXJustAnotherFangirlXx**: In this fic, the Noah part of Allen isn't really his dark side, but we'll get to that later.

**uniFsky**: I keep wanting to type in "UniFsky". I think it's my fixation for capitalizing names, even though I never do that in IMs. XD Yeah, it's a bad incident. It gets worse.

Thanks to the rest of you who reviewed and/or alerted! I'm afraid I'm not socially advanced enough to reply to all of your reviews, but I still love you all. Mwah.

**Warnings:** Cussing, more Kanda-torture, don't like, don't read. This chapter also contains actual Noah!Allen, so if you don't like him, don't read either. But you need to read it. Lol. Doesn't leave you with much of a choice, huh? **T**.

**Disclaimer:** Wish I did. If I did, I could, and I quote, I would "throw them into a closet and lock them up in there until they finish their business" (uniFsky). Lulz.

As a side note, this chapter is a continuation of the flashbacks from the previous chapter.

-

* * *

-

**Chapter 7:** Remembrance Benevolence, Act 2

-

**Scene 1**

**-**

Kanda refused to believe that the person who attacked the Order was Walker. He told himself that it was just a Noah; that one Noah who could copy appearances. Obviously, since it was a copy, the curse eye wouldn't work.

That reason gave Kanda the incentive to stop being shocked at "Walker's" appearance at the Order and instead take down the Akuma pouring out of the Ark.

It was only because Miranda had coincidentally been using Time Out that the Order wasn't taken down. And it was luck that the Akuma didn't attack her, or anyone else for that matter, strangely enough.

After a good portion of the Akuma had been killed, the fake Walker retreated back into the Ark, having done nothing more than gaze at the bleak scenery (or lack therefore of) outside the window.

Kanda hoped that it really wasn't Walker who just invaded the Black Order.

**-**

**Scene 2**

**-**

A month passes and most of the injured are out of the infirmary. No one was attacked by the Akuma; it was the falling rubble that got them.

The atmosphere is worse than when Walker was thought to be dead.

Linali doesn't serve coffee anymore. Instead, she actually goes on missions, as though to use that time outside to search for Walker. Komui does his work and Lavi doesn't tease Kanda (as much) anymore. Miranda constantly talks of suicide, but that's a given.

Marie is the one that bugs Kanda the most.

"Really, Kanda!"

"_No_. I refuse to play these games anymore, Marie."

"Kanda, it's not a game. Just hear me out for a moment!"

Kanda turns around, glowering fiercely, not even knowing why he's so livid about something like this. "Every time you've told me to go somewhere you think Walker is, there's _no one there_. I'm sick of this shit, Marie."

"Well, maybe Allen knew I was coming and left using the Ark.."

"That fucking beansprout is _not_ a Noah!"

"But that doesn't mean he can't use the Ar—Kanda!"

Kanda ignores the French Exorcist's calls and stalks towards his room, Marie following him and voicing his disapproval softly.

Suddenly, the larger man pulls Kanda behind a pillar, clapping a hand over his mouth when he protests.

"What th—Marie!"

"Shh! I hear something…"

"I know. You're blind, not deaf, Marie."

"It's Timcanpy and.. Allen…"

Kanda immediately shuts up and tries to look around the pillar, only to be restrained by the other Exorcist.

"Not yet! I can still hear Tim's flapping."

Minutes pass, almost seeming like hours, and finally Kanda hears a voice.

"…canpy, get in here! Kanda's down at the training halls right now, so you don't have to keep watch. No one goes into that prick's room, either, if they can help it. Now come on and start recording, you bloody golem."

After a few seconds silence, Marie lets him go.

"Keep the others away, Marie." Kanda mutters, touching Mugen's handle lightly to make sure it's still there. "I need to have a word with that beansprout."

"..About.. er, last month?"

"_No,_you imbecile, about breaking and entering my _god forsaken room_."

"…Was that sarcasm, Kanda?"

"..Shut up."

**-**

**Scene 3**

**-**

Kanda stands in the doorway, watching as Walker examines at his lotus. The soft pink light gives the General an almost ethereal glow.

Kanda has to remind himself that this person is no angel.

"What do you think you're doing, Walker?"

Startled, the General drops the glass case and it falls towards the ground, only to be caught by Timcanpy's tail. Kanda storms into his room and jerks the case away, setting it back on the dresser before grabbing the front of Walker's faded Exorcist coat.

"Kanda?"

"You dare have the guts to come back? And to _my room_, no less?"

"Yours has more privacy, Kanda." Walker smiles that one smile of his that Kanda hesitates to talk back to.

"That just makes you even more of a fool, idiot. I could kill you right now and no one would know."

Walker looks almost appalled.. "You wouldn't."

"You betrayed the Order, Walker." Kanda snarls in an attempt to get answers (though it's more to reassure himself that Walker isn't a traitor, depending on the other's response), digging his knuckles into Walker's chest and ignoring his pained wince. "You came in here using the Ark and let loose _hundreds_ of Akuma on us. I should kill you for that."

"But no one died," Walker smiles nervously, flinching as the grip on his coat tightens. "I didn't kill anyone and the tower is still in one piece, right? There's no need to kill me over something so trivial, Kanda. We've been through **so** much together."

"Then I'll kill you _because_ of everything we've gone through, beansprout."

"No, you wouldn't," he retorts, sticking his tongue out in a childish manner. "You love me too much."

Kanda glares at the General for a moment, pitting emotions against duties, before turning away with with a soft 'che', dropping the white-haired man to his feet.

"Too much for my own damn good.."

Walker's arms wrap around him, like they had countless times before, with a short laugh. "Love you too, BaKanda."

"I never should have taught you to say 'baka'."

Walker smiles against his neck with a light hum. "Well, it's too late now."

"Che. Looks like you've finally grown a bit."

"Duh," Walker sighs and buries his face in Kanda's hair, breathing in the Japanese man's lotus-vanilla scented shampoo. "Missed you…"

"Don't be a fucking sap, Walker."

"Haha. Loosen up, jackarse."

The next few moments are in silence, Timcanpy settling on Kanda's shoulder with a sort of content purr after discreetly recording the whole thing. It's been a 6 weeks since they've last seen each other face to face, and months since either has held the other in such a way that Walker is doing right now.

Then Chaoji walked in on them and all hell broke loose.

**-**

**Scene 4**

**-**

"Kanda-san!" Chaoji stops in the doorway, just as Kanda had done, except that the Chinese Exorcist is wide-eyed with fear and anger. "Kan--…da…san.."

"Eh? Ah! Chaoji!" Walker smiles, detaching himself from Kanda and waving. "Long time no—"

"_YOU!_ How _dare_ you try to take Kanda-san..?!"

"Eh? But I'm not—"

"First you spare Tyki Mikk, then you join the Earl, you _attacked_ the Order, and now you're after _Kanda_?!"

"Look, you—"

Chaoji rounds on the Japanese man, fury radiating from him and the Innocence around his wrist. "And you, Kanda-san, I thought you were better than this. Have you forgotten about your duties as an Exorcist, Kanda-san? Why haven't you killed him yet?! "

"What the _fuck_are you—?!"

"_Are you betraying the Order, too?!_"

Chaoji's words strike a chord of realization in Kanda's mind. Is he really betraying the God whom he served? Kanda doesn't see it that way. All he sees is spending some time with the one he loves after being apart for so long. He missed Walker, though he'll never admit it.

Chaoji suddenly appears right in front of him and Kanda doesn't even register his body moving until it's too late as he shoves the white-haired General aside. Pain explodes in his torso; Chaoji's Innocence-driven fist, a blow meant for Walker, slams dead center in his chest.

Kanda can feel his sternum bending, xiphoid breaking off and tearing through something, probably his diaphragm. The cartilage connecting ribs to sternum give way and snap, the force of the attack driving the fractured ribs into his heart, lungs, through skin and muscle..

"K-Kanda!"

His sight blurs, he just barely make out Chaoji stumbling back from a kick to his midsection. Kanda falls to his knees, coughing mouthfuls of blood as it continues to fill his lungs.

"Kanda.. Kanda! Don't close your eyes, don't.. Kanda..!"

"Urusai.. moyashi.."

"English, Kanda," Walker sobs desperately, supporting the Asian man's head before it can hit the ground as he collapses to the side. Warm liquid falls onto Kanda's face and he blinks, though it doesn't help his hazing vision. "Don't sleep…"

"Shaddup.. baka moyashi.. tired… itai yo.."

"Don't fall asleep, Kanda, please…"

"Nemu… ri.. ka…"

He's surprised he can still talk with the blood taking away his precious air supply. His heart strains to continue working while being healed by the lotus curse.

Even as his consciousness fades away, Kanda berates himself for staining Walker's clothes with blood.

"Kanda.. Kanda, don't fall asleep.. don't die on me, Kanda—_Kanda_!"

**-**

**Scene 5**

**-**

At the sound of breaking bone, which can never be a good thing, Marie rushes up to Kanda's room, followed closely by Lavi who'd been conveniently passing by.

"Chaoji! What happened?" The bookman apprentice takes in Chaoji's disheveled and deranged look and concludes that whatever has happened, it's definitely not good.

"K-Kanda-san.. Kanda.. he deserved it.. it's his fault..!" The Chinese Exorcist chants, staring past Lavi the whole time. Lavi follows Chaoji's gaze and his breath catches at the sight of Allen Walker desperately holding onto a bleeding, deathly pale Japanese man.

"Yuu--!" Lavi dashes towards them, face painted with worry. He barely takes a step into the room before being thrown back by a white ribbon-like object with enough force to bend the tempered steel railing as he crashes into it. He mumbles something about Innocence before slipping into unconsciousness.

Kanda's room is almost glowing with light from Allen's Clown Belt whipping about, not really hitting anything except perceived intruders.

"Marie.. is that you, Marie?"

"..Allen…" Marie can't see, but the echoes and sound waves of Allen's Innocence provides a clear enough picture. There's also another sound, an overlapping song in the air that isn't usually there. It's dark and moody, pained, in turmoil, yet somehow calming in a sick way.

Half of Allen's pale face has tanned and on his brow is half a set of black crosses. His Innocence is raging, partly in reaction to its host's emotions, partly because of the presence of a Noah.

"Marie.. Marie, please, don't report him.. don't…"

It takes the French Exorcists a few seconds to realize that Allen's talking about the Japanese Exorcist out cold and still bleeding in the General's arms.

"Don't report him to the higher ups.. please.. he's not a traitor. Don't tell Levierre, _please_, Marie.."

"You're wrong, Noah!" Chaoji argues hysterically before Marie can respond. "Kanda-san chose you over the Order. You're at traitor, he didn't kill you, so he's a traitor, too! You're both traitors!"

"Chaoji—"

"No, Kanda's not a traitor!" Allen is hyperventilating, crying, and his Innocence is getting out of control but he doesn't seem to notice. The Innocence's pain-filled cry is hurting Marie's ears.

"He protected you! If you help the enemy, you _are_ the enemy, you damn Noah!"

Allen shakes his head, tears falling onto Kanda's ever paling skin. "If that's how you see it.. you're wrong… You're wrong. Is that the only way you see it, Chaoji? Enemy or ally.. is that all..?"

"He's a traitor.. a traitor.. Kanda-san chose _you_, a _Noah_, over the Order! He's a traitor!"

The Chinese Exorcist's fist smashes into Allen's cheek, breaking bone and cartilage, tearing skin and sending blood to the ground. Another sob, and Allen's jaw clicks back into place, fractured though it is, and begins to heal grotesquely in a Noah-like way, muscles stretching over bones, skin crawling as though with a mind of its own.

Allen looks at Chaoji, one eye a friendly gray, the other a dull gold, both streaming with tears.

"Is it so wrong to protect someone you love, Chaoji?"

-

When Kanda wakes up, he feels as though he's been run over by a train and skewered by a hammer, though that's entirely impossible. Everyone says it's just an incident with an Akuma, even though he can't remember fighting one

No one else can tell him any details, either. They've just accepted it as the truth.

Kanda may as well do the same.

_-_

_Daichi ni taruru ikusenno.. yume.. yume…_

_Ginno hitomino yuraga yoruni…_

_Umareochita kagayaku omae ikuokuno toshitsukiga_

_Ikuto.. inoriwa.. tsuchie kaeshitemo…_

_Watashi wa inoritsuzukeru mou kakonno koni aiwo_

_Tsunaidateni… kisuho…_

_-_

_"I curse you, do you hear me? I curse you to the depths of hell!"_

_"How dare you show yourself, you monster?!"_

_"I curse you, I damn you, may you never escape the Devil's grast, Kanda Yuu! __**I curse you**__!!"_

_-_

Kanda remembers someone singing him to sleep the night of his parents' deaths.

_-_

_Soushite bouya wa nemurini tsuite_

_Ikizuku haino nakano honoo_

_Hitotsu.. futatsu.. to…_

_-_

_((A/N: (January 17, 2009): Here ends the flashbacks. We're back to real time.))  
_

Kanda opens his eyes for the first time in what seems like years, blinking at the white ceiling above him. He's somewhat aware of a body laying half on top of him but doesn't have the strength or want to push whoever it is away.

"Master Kanda.."

He turns and looks blearily at the Finder-disguised Exorcist, Myria.

"You.. I thought you died two years ago.."

"Ah, that. A Level 3 is not enough to kill me, I'm afraid." She smiles serenely, almost deceptively were it not for the lack of reason to lie.

"Che…"

"..Master Kanda—"

"Stop calling me that. You're an Exorcist, aren't you?"

Her smile saddens and Kanda is immediately reminded of Linali. He just hopes that no one akin to Komui will jump out at him from a closet or something…

"I used to be an Exorcist.. up until a few weeks after General Walker found me."

Kanda doesn't care to pry, but the question '_what happened_' hangs in the air like an unpleasant smell. You don't like it, but you can't get rid of it.

"..The Millennium Earl destroyed my Innocence and killed me afterwards."

He tenses and glances at her, raising an eyebrow.

"My sister… I don't really know what happened. He won't tell me.. I remember dying and my sister was next to me.. she wasn't supposed to be there.. General Walker says that the Earl brought her specifically to make an Akuma with the soul of an Exorcist. I suppose he wanted to see if it was any different from a normal Akuma…"

Kanda's eyes widen marginally and he _almost_ wants to jump away.. only to remember a certain bean-sprout sprawled out half-naked on top of him.

"Oh, don't worry, I won't attack you." Again with the smile. Strange, that an Akuma had emotions such as empathy and sympathy… "I've been remodeled to be relatively harmless to humans."

"By General Cross Marian?"

"Cross?" Myria's face twists into that of disgust and she crosses her arms defiantly, seething. "Heaven's no, I'd never let that man touch me. I was remodeled over a period of 13 months by General Allen Walker, thank you."

Kanda rolls his eyes and, without waking the other man, shifts into a position that allows his arm more blood flow to prevent it from numbing. "Che. Never knew that beansprout had it in him to do that."

"He didn't. Goodness knows how many hours he spent crying while trying to rewire a test Akuma... But that's for General Walker to tell you at his own pace."

"Hn." The Asian man looks down at the sleeping General with a hint of fondness, gently tracing the red scar on his otherwise perfect face.

"I'll be back with food.. Kanda. Please get some more rest until then."

He responds with a faint nod, resting a hand on Walker's head when she leaves. Looking around briefly, Kanda realizes that they're in the same room as before, prior to the dreams and memories..

Yeah.. he remembers now. Kanda doesn't understand the meaning behind Walker's actions, but he remembers them at the very least.

Walker's hair isn't as soft as he had imagined or remembered it to be. It's stiff yet smooth, almost like polyester cloth yet at the same time like silk.

Smiling to himself as he remembers another part of Walker that feels like silk (in the general area of his face), Kanda closes his eyes, intending to rest them for a bit before Myria returns.

He ends up falling asleep to the beansprout's rhythmic breathing against his neck.

-

* * *

-

Oh, the lack of fluff in this fanfic is starting to get to me.

I can't seem to see Kanda being all lovey-dovey, though, so sue me if they don't do anything more than kiss/snuggle/refer to previous events.

Lavi had like, one line, and then I got rid of him. Lol. Silly rabbit. Yullen just doesn't like you.

For those who aren't as anatomically educated, the **xiphoid** is the bottom tip of your sternum. In CPR, you're taught to avoid pressing there or the xiphoid will break off and pierce your heart lining and/or diaphragm.

Your sternum is your breastbone, so to speak. I think. Lol. It's the bone in the center of your chest. :D

Review. Flame. Please. It's getting cold, and I need something to warm my fingers as I sit here for hours doing homework and typing fanfics.

_**Edit (January 17, 2009):**__ Added dividers, some notes (I think), changed layout and stuffs.  
_


	8. Eighth Shade: Je Me Fie En Vous

'_I believe in you_' is what the title means, in French. At least, I'm hoping. I kinda dissected two French phrases and stuck them together...

**Edit:** So, thanks to **Junoan** and **Sahdowcat**, the title does _not_ mean what I thought it would mean, but rather '_I trust myself in you_'. If anyone has an accurate (or more accurate) translation for '_I trust myself to you_', in French, I'll use that.

This chapter was _sort of_ planned out; I ended up typing the second half on a whim. Three more OCs, two are dead, one is pending death, so you'll only hear about them once more. I didn't feel like killing Crowley or Miranda or Chaoji.. though I should have done that. Ugh.

_((A/N (January 17, 2009): I've got something else planned out for them, so they can't die yet.))_

Reviews~!

**love is but an element**: Your welcome. :D

**xXJustAnotherFangirlXx**: SHAMPOO LOL. Kanda has to keep his hair sexy and pretty for his moyashi, so.. I guess Allen would be the cause of that. Maybe. :D

**uniFsky**: Thanks! I try hard to keep these people in-character. I tend to spin off of their character a lot, something I've learned to fix after two years of RPing. I also tend to use OCs a lot more because it's easier to control their actions, instead of conforming their actions to fit their character. Kanda and Allen (Lavi especially) are a bit easier to write because their characters are just so set in stone, yet still pliable into to mold into ways that fit a story.

**xmystorytime**: Yesplz. :D That's up to your imagination.

Also many thanks to SnowFoxAllen, Lady of Mystery and Chaos, Repercussion, Sahdowcat, and anyone else who replied!

**On another note**, I do _not_ hate Chaoji! No matter _how_ much the last chapter might've hinted that I did, that's how Chaoji is. He sees the world like that, and I don't blame him because it makes sense when you're in a world that could turn on you (Exorcists, traitors) and kill you (Akuma) at any moment. Plus, having acquired Innocence, Chaoji has probably strengthened his beliefs. I don't hate him, but he's not my favorite character either (Kandaplz). I just used him because it was more convenient to use a character that already thinks that way for my plot. :D

**Warnings:** OCs, Reever's niece (also an OC...), uh, some _light_ cursing, I think. Oh, and we can't forget Kanda's mouth. And Allen's [hinthint nudgenudge]. Soooo.. **T** sounds right. Lol, you may as well expect T for all of them now. It's not that bad, though.

**Disclaimer:** Hmmm.. to own, or not to own, that is the question... I wish. _Katsura Hoshino-sensei no manga desu._ This plot is mine. These OCs are mine.

-

* * *

-

**Chapter 8:** Je Me Fie En Vous

-

"Baka moyashi."

"Ith Awen!"

"Che, you're still an idiot."

It's 6:50 in the morning; has anything crawled up _your_ ass and died yet?

If you're Kanda, then, yes. Namely an idiotic beansprout named Allen Walker.

"It's not like I'll die or something," Walker mutters with a mouthful of rice and curry. "I haven't been using my Innocence in a while, so I didn't feel the need to eat so much."

"And if someone decided it was a great time to ambush us?"

"No one can board the Ark without my permission, Kanda."

Kanda 'che's and turns his head away.

"That's not a reason to starve yourself for a week."

"I didn't _starve_ myself, BaKanda!"

"Compared to what you usually take in, that's called starving."

"No, it's not—Oh, never mind!" Walker huffs, biting into a loaf bread with an exasperated look. "Prick…"

"Che. Shut up and finish eating already." Kanda sighs. It's frustrating being (unknowingly) confined to a bed for a week in a coma. Even after waking up, he can't leave, not because he's suddenly disabled (he'd force himself out of bed regardless), but because the stupid beansprout adamantly refused to let Kanda out of bed until he was _fully_ recovered.

And Walker's damn scary when he's mad.

"Are you _worried_ about me?" Walker smiles at Kanda, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "That's so _sweet _ of you."

"Fuck you."

"I'd love to."

"… Unfortunately, I'm incapacitated."

"That's not fair, Kanda."

"Che. I don't play fair. You know that." The Japanese man scoffs and reaches over the table, grabbing a water bottle and draining half of it in one gulp.

"O-oi! That's _my_ bottle!"

"What's yours is mine, moyashi."

Walker frowns in annoyance. "Wha—What kind of logic is that?!"

"_You_ belong to _me_, Walker. That's the logic behind it." Kanda points out dully before drinking the rest of the water. Before he can swallow, however, Walker shoves him back against the bed and straddles his waist.

"Oh, really?"

It's not much of a kiss; more like a battle of pride. Walker's tongue pushes past his lips and Kanda lets out an indignant sound, tangling his fingers in snow white locks, tugging harshly, and Walker responds by pressing harder with possessive growl, taking back whatever water hadn't already trickled out from the corners of Kanda's mouth.

"Yeah, really." Kanda breathes out, smirks triumphantly when the other man parts for air.

"Bloody little—"

There's a knocking sound and Walker pauses in his attempts to smother the Japanese man, looking over his shoulder at the closed door.

"General Walker."

"Myria?"

"Sir, Stephen has a report to give you."

Walker shifts uncomfortably, leaning closer against Kanda with a small pout. "Er.. can it wait?"

"Unfortunately, no. It's urgent. Four more have been sentenced to be tried for heresy, General Walker." Her voice is muffled from behind the door but Walker stiffens all the same.

"..Do we know who?"

"The Galen twins, Riole Wenham, and..." A hesitant pause. "..Stephen Marks."

Walker's hold on his shoulder tightens and Kanda suppresses a wince, hissing lowly. The General's eyes are dimming to gold again, and Kanda can see the faint outlines of black crosses on his forehead.

".. _Damn it_, Levierre… You just _have_ to be the thorn in my side."

-

He's really too trusting of the white-haired General. It bothers Kanda to no end that he would put so much _faith_ and _belief_ in that man.. hell, he'd even place his _life_ in Walker's hands if need be.

That's how Walker is; you just... trust him.

But to send a 17 year old out to kill the Millennium Earl by himself.. that's not trust. That's the same as sending him to his death. If possible, Kanda would have labeled it as indirect murder.

Kanda may not have cared when they first met – after all, a newbie beansprout can only do so much. But there's something about Walker that's soothing, calming… something nice and sweet, as much as Kanda hated to admit. It infuriated him, that something could affect him like Walker did, yet he was grateful for it.

He had something to do when not training or off on a mission. He had someone to argue with, something that no one did. He could trust Walker to be in the cafeteria every morning for him to insult. He could trust Walker to take care of the Akuma at his back so that Kanda could focus on retrieving the Innocence. He could trust Walker to at least _try_ to console him whenever something bad happened, even if Kanda just brushed it off.

Because, no matter how many times Kanda insulted him, no matter how many times Kanda left him for dead, no matter how many times Kanda called him a _weakling_, he could trust Walker to still be there.

That's how Kanda is; he just _has_ to trust Walker, Noah or not.

-

_Walker sighs, leaning back against the bed's headboard. The Noah features have disappeared, leaving only Walker, tired and worn out from god knows what._

_"…Hey, beansprout."_

_"Kanda.. Er.. I have.. a favor to ask you." Walker mutters, tilting his head to look at Kanda. "That is, if you're feeling better."_

_"..You're the one keeping me here, Walker."_

_"You're the one who's not fighting back."_

_"…Che."_

_Walker chuckles. "Well.. I'd like you to go back to the Order and pretend like nothing's happened. Try and find Stephen, too; he'll know what to do next. The others might have already regained their memories, so.. be careful."_

_Kanda gives him a disdainful glare at the idea of heading back to that place where the rabbit might be back to _normal_ (or as normal as Lavi could be). "Why can't you go?"_

_"I may be a General, and I may be entitled to disappearing without a trace for a year or two (or four, in Cross's case), but Levierre and the higher ups were the only ones I couldn't reach two years ago. And besides..."_

_"What about the mission we were sent on two months ago?"_

_"They don't know about that. All that Levierre and the higher ups would know is that you were sent to follow a lead on General Cross Marian, alone."_

_"Let me guess, another one of your mind tricks on Komui?"_

_Walker shrugs. "Yeah.. I had to. Or else.. Levierre would hear of it…"_

_"Okay, I get! Don't get all depressed on me! 'Taku…" Kanda grumbles, rubbing at his temples._

_Walker's eyes are wide, desperate, as he clings to the other man's shirt. "Kanda, you have to go! Those are innocent people about to be killed!"_

_Kanda frowns, tilting his head away. "How the hell do you know they're innocent?"_

_The beansprout lowers his gaze. "Because, Kanda… the guilty are executed on the spot."_

_".. Weren't you tried for heresy, Walker? Or did they just send you on a mission to redeem yourself?"_

_"Yeah.. I was… the mission, that is. They consider me dead, Kanda, unless last month's invasion reached them."_

_Kanda gives Walker a questioning gaze. ".. What kind of mission?"_

_Walker doesn't answer immediately, instead moving his arms around Kanda's neck and just laying against him. Kanda feels Walker's eyelashes fluttering on his neck, almost ticklish._

_Kanda has somehow learned to be patient with the beansprout. He doesn't push him for answers and only listens when he does finally reply--_

_"It was.. a solo mission.. to seek out and kill the Millennium Earl."_

_--no matter how much Kanda wants to know what happened._

-

Two days later, Kanda is sitting back in the ever familiar cafeteria, eating his beloved soba, and listening to the obnoxiously loud conversations around him.

"…he's back… took a while.."

"Shh! We're not allowed to talk about that.."

"I heard that he still doesn't remember."

"Seriously?"

"Hush, you three!"

"Gah! Don't _do_ that!"

Sighing irritably, Kanda throws out the rest of his soba. It's rather disturbing trying to eat when you _know_ people are talking about you.

"Yo, Yuu-chan!"

Dear lord, the rabbit's _back_.

"Get lost, usagi." Kanda glares, stopping the red-head in his tracks at a distance of about 5 meters _less_ than last time. Damned rabbit was becoming _immune_ to The Glare ©. Who would have thought it was possible?

All of a sudden, he springs back to life and catches the Japanese man in a death-wish headlock. "But, Yuu-chan~~~! You should meet this guy down in the basement, he's hilarious! I mean.. yeah.. he might be a traitor and all but he's pretty harmless.."

Lavi trails off, letting go of Kanda's neck to ponder something, at the same time trying to avoid the murderous glare being sent his way.

"Oh! Didja know? He was hiding the fact that he was an Exorcist! But don't tell anyone that I told you! It's supposed to be a secret. And…" The rabbit whispers and glances out of the corners of his eyes as though someone might be eavesdropping.

"He said he wanted to talk to you."

---

"Have fun!"

Lavi closes the door leading down to the prison-like basement of the tower, laughing merrily like he'd just pulled the greatest prank ever.

God save the stupid idiot from the Wrath Of Yuu Kanda™ if this were a trick.

"Who's there, yo?"

Yeah, it was Marks.

"Who else is in here?" Kanda asks no one in particular, hoping for only one reply.

"Just some chick in the corner there. A scientist's niece or somethin'. Don't remember. Cute, though."

"My _name_ is Riole Wenham!" came an offended voice from the far end of the basement. "My uncle is Reever Wenham and I—"

"I hope you're as tactful as your uncle is, _onna_. Not that we need more than one…" Kanda rolls his eyes, leaning against the wall across from Stephen's cell.

"That was complete sarcasm, I know it!"

"You're a genius like your uncle. Now shut up. We're having a private chat, in case you haven't noticed."

"Uh, well, _duh_. I can't _see_ you from all the way _back here_, you _ass_."

"Che."

"Oh, he did _not _just do that—"

"He did, babe. He did."

"Anyway," Kanda grinds out, tuning out the incoherent babblings of Reever's niece. He'd have to get her out somehow, too. "Marks. Walker sent me."

"What? I heard Allen's name. What's going on?! I thought he was dead!"

"Shut _up_!"

"They've already killed Niel to threaten us and Soel disappeared! Allen's still alive, right? He's going to save us, isn't he..?!"

Kanda falls silent, staring into the darkness in Wenham's general direction. He's not heroic, and he won't make false promises, regardless of the situation.

"Hey, you, Kanda, right?"

He turns and looks into the cell. A dark brown face stares back at him, white teeth almost blinding in the dim light.

"Hn?"

"Walker sent you? We puttin' the plan to action?"

Kanda blinks. "… Yeah?"

"Sweet! Hey, Rio-babe!"

"..Don't call me that!"

"If anyone asks, I kidnapped Kanda, alright?"

"…_Huh_?"

Marks grins and points at something behind Kanda. He gives the dark-skinned man a pointed glare before turning around. There's an almost heart-shaped pink and black door, delicately outlined in gold, a king's gilded crown floating above it.

There's an explosion from Marks's cell and he stumbles forward as someone shoves him from behind. The door opens and Kanda can see the simple white Southern style housing inside.

"A~llen, we're _ho~me_!"

The familiar gray head, animated talking to Myria outside the 14th's room, stopped and turned to them. Relief floods his face and he smiles at the Japanese man.

"Welcome back, Kanda."

-

* * *

-

That's the worst cliffhanger ever. It's not even a cliffhanger. It fails the cliffhanger test. Yeah, it does.

Lol, I don't have much to say, except... THIS CHAPTER IS LATE. I shoulda put that at the beginning, but.. yeah. Sorry. :D It's late. I've been busy. So sue me. Just read it.

NEXT CHAPTER IS... hopefully.. THE LAST ONE. I'll say it now.

There's going to be a sequel. But I need a title. Soooo... don't expect it too soon. I'm debating whether is should stay in Kanda's POV or switch to Allen's... meh.

Review! Flame! Get those kids off of my doorstep tomorrow night!

I swear, they won't leave even if we put up a "NO CANDY, KEEP WALKING" sign on our door. They just keep ringing that doorbell like they've got some kinda fixation with it.

Ciao. Love y'all.

**_Edit (January 17, 2009):_**_ Changed layout, added dividers, thought about adding a scene/changing some info, but decided against it. Little bit of info on Niel and Soel will be in the sequel._


	9. Final Shade: At Spes Non Fracta

Oh. My. Lord.

This has _got_ to be the _cheesiest_ and _corniest_ chapter I've _ever_ written.

I'm proud of myself. Sort of.

LAST CHAPTER~~ And I've already got the plotline for the sequel planned out, so I'm hoping that'll move faster than this one.

And this chapter is so _shoooorrrttt_~~ D: It's not even 2,000 words (minus the notes, which are long.. as always)... but I'm happy because the dividers are working again. :D

Reviews? I don't want to put these... take up space.. but I will. To take up space.

**love is but an element**: Happy late Hallow's Eve to you and everyone else out there, too. XD lol

**xmystorytimex**: DDDD: I couldn't continue it under this story title, so I have to make a new story. And I even wrote a little poem for it lulz, even though it's just crap I came up with in ten seconds. It still follows this plot, so don't worry. 8D

**SnowFoxAllen**: ILU. Kind of. I've already sworn not to fall in love, so uh, damn. You've almost got it right. The answer is hidden somewhere in this chapter. You might have to read through it and actually make some guesses, because I'm horrible at hinting stuff.

**kyeewoo**: This chapter probably has the most Yullen the story will ever have. I've also finally found a reason why I won't write a lemon for this story/series, and it's not a nice reason.. but it works. D:

**uniFsky**: Hu hu hu, Flexi-Lavi LULZ. Suggestive. Nyummy~ XD I'll finally clear up what happened two years ago in the first chapter of the sequel, so we'll see how sneaky he was.

The rest of you who reviewed and/or alerted, ILU ALL BUT PLEASE DON'T ALERT NO MORE. This story has ended with this chapter.

**Warnings:** OMG. Suggestive stuff. But really, just some fist fights, half-nudity on Kanda's behalf, cursing (also on Kanda's behalf), and... yeah. T.. maybe. Kanda's too OOC in this chapter, IMO. D:

**Disclaimer:** I still have to put these? D: Durn. I dun own DGrayMan. Wish I did, but I don't. Actually, it's better that I didn't or Allen would look _way too girly_ for Kanda. It'd almost be a lesbian couple, srsly.

I WASN'T HINTING AT YOUR FEMININITY, KANDA, PUT THE SWORD DOWN.

-

* * *

-

**Chapter 9:** At Spes Non Fracta

-

_"Curse you.. curse you..!"_

_"Monster! Devil!"_

_"I hate you, hate you, __**hate you**__! I curse you!"_

_"Damn you to hell, Kanda!"_

_-_

Kanda does not approve.

If there's anything the Japanese man hates more than badly made soba, it's being stuck in bed. If there's anything _worse_ than being stuck in bed, it's being stuck in bed and being made to _stay_ by an old, stupid, white-haired beansprout – evil glare and/or adorable puppy dog eyes and pouts notwithstanding.

So, when Walker wasn't looking, Kanda snuck out of the 14th's room (why the hell was there a bed in there, anyway? It's not like anyone _lived_ on the Ark…) and into an empty one to do light training.

An hour into meditating, he really wishes he hadn't left Walker's side.

"Kanda?"

As he staggers out of the room, his sight blurs and Walker's form is just a splotch of colors and worry. His forehead burns in a single line, like someone slashed at it with a white-hot knife, and it only burns hotter when Walker touches him.

"Kanda, what's wrong?"

Kanda lets out a snarl at the contact and shoves past him, only to lose his balance as he clutches at his head, his head swimming in pain and fire.

He grudgingly allows Walker to guide him, inwardly thankful at the silence. Despite Walker's height (or lack therefore of), Kanda finds himself leaning against the white-haired man as they trudge back to the white room.

Kanda's hand closes around the doorknob and there's a sharp ringing snap as it breaks off, sparks jumping from his hands to the metal. The heat of the electricity causes the knob to melt and seep through his fingers as liquid copper-gold before he even registers what has happened. Strangely enough, the burn of the metal doesn't seem to affect him.

All Kanda can see is his obviously tanned hand.

"..Kanda.. your hand.. Wait, Kanda, don't do that—!"

He crashes into the door and it opens, slamming against the wall and almost breaking off at the hinges. He curses, desperately regaining his balance and making his way across the room to the giant mirror. His chest is tingling, on the verge of burning like it did last week, and he pulls at the confining dress shirt, ignoring the clatter of buttons as they fly off and hit the floor.

His entire skin is tanned, a gray-ish brown that he never wanted to see again. The tattoo is glowing bright red again. Even though it has stopped growing ever since he'd had those dreams, it has already spread across the majority of his chest, left shoulder, and abdomen.

Then, a flash of light, and the tattoo recedes back to a simple character and fades away completely. Kanda can only think that his life, tied to his curse, will end..

.. Until he remembers the strange color of his skin and hesitantly raises a hand to brush away his bangs. 7 little black crosses are carved into his skin and his eyes, once a deep indigo blue, are now pools of molten gold and glimmer at him tauntingly.

"Kanda? Kanda, what's wro—Oh…" Walker doesn't seem surprised; he's almost relieved, and there's the faintest hint of a smile that he's trying to hold back.

"..You were expecting this to happen, beansprout?" Kanda asks, gritting his teeth at the fluctuating pain in his body and glaring at the white-haired General.

"Er… well, I kind of _knew_ you were.. going to.. soon…"

"How long have you known about it?"

"Ever since I… er.. since that night.. two years ago," Walker averts his eyes to the side, almost shy and embarrassed at bringing up that subject. ".. when I saw the lotus in your room.."

Kanda sighs loudly, exasperated, and leans his head against the giant mirror. "And you couldn't just _tell_ me? _Warn_ me, even?"

The General huffs and crosses his arms childishly. "Well, I left for a mission right after, and I couldn't get any connection to tell you… The invasion wasn't the best of times to break the news, and you took a _week_ to wake up. I'd hoped to tell you after we got Stephen back, but _no_, you just had to run off to do your training even with an exhausted body, so how was I supposed to tell you?"

Kanda scoffs, slowly looking up to inspect his reflection. The crosses are still etched onto his forehead, but he's nothing wondering why they're there. He just wants to know why his curse would suddenly disappear…

And why he's still alive.

"..Well, fuck," Kanda curses, rage and anger bubbling up inside him for reasons unknown. Something like this shouldn't have an effect. He didn't care when Walker was a Noah, so why was his mind reacting to his own transformation? "Now what, Walker?"

"…Kanda?"

"_Now what_?" Kanda repeats through clenched teeth, grabbing the front of Walker's shirt. A button snaps off and falls to the ground, unheard by the enraged Japanese man. "I'm a fucking _Noah_!"

"I'm a Noah, too, and so is Stephen!"

"You weren't born a Noah, Walker. And I'm damn sure Marks wasn't either."

"That doesn't matter, Kanda," Walker is almost pleading, futilely trying to placate the Asian Exorcist. "We're still Noah. You can't change that fact."

Snarling, Kanda shoves the white-haired against the wall and clenches a fist. Walker's own hand instinctively shoots up to catch the attack.

But Kanda has misjudged his own strength; the Noah genes behind his anger plow the smaller man's hand into the mirror with a deafening crunch, drowned out by Walker's muffled cry of pain, and the same happens to his other hand with the same result.

Walker bites his lower lip, wincing as the crushed bones in his hand repair themselves painfully under the pressure of Kanda's fist, only to fracture again and the cycle repeats. Walker glares, worry evident in his metallic silver eyes. "You're still unstable from the last week and the transformation, Kanda! Stop acting like bloody _idiot_--!"

"… Kuso… _kuso_," Kanda laughs softly, though he can't see where the humor is. His mind is beyond thinking, beyond trying to make sense of the fact that he's a Noah _and_ an Exorcist at the same time, and he doesn't even hear Walker ranting on and on. ".. what am I supposed to do now..?"

All his life he's been killing Akuma, fighting the Noah clan, chasing the Earl, collecting Innocence; and now he finds out he's a Noah himself.

There's no turning back… but he can't walk forward.

The sudden realization crashes down on him and he feels lost, pathetic, weak, _lifeless_, wandering aimlessly like he did before Tiedoll found him on the brink of death (that's a half-lie; he couldn't have died anyway) almost 14 years ago…

Kanda's hands uncurl and lace themselves with Walker's, a subconscious act of seeking comfort that he doesn't realize he's doing until Walker speaks up.

"Kanda…"

He raises his gaze, tired, and watches the faint smile disappear. It's a smile that Kanda loves because it gives hope, happiness, something Walker can still do even after leaving the Order, despised by his former friends.

..But he also hates that smile because it's never directed at _him_. It hurt to know that Walker would smile for everyone else, and never for him.

..And right when he sees it, it's gone.

"Che.. can't go back to the Order.. I used to think that was impossible," Kanda mutters, pressing his slightly feverish forehead against the cool glass next to Walker, feeling the other man tremble at the breath on his neck. "Now I really _can't_ go back.. I may as well have betrayed the—"

"Shut up," The General cuts in, and Kanda does indeed stop talking though it's more out of not knowing what to say. "You're not at traitor.. don't ever say that you are, Kanda, because that's when it's final. You have no reason to leave the Order—"

Kanda makes a low scoffing sound, letting go of Walker's still healing hands to wrap his arms securely around his waist, and Walker lets out a hitched gasp. "Then I'll say it and make it true, Walker. I'll betray the Order."

"B-but.. why..?"

He's silent. Kanda doesn't really know why, he just felt like he had to say it. He thinks, wonders, asks himself so many questions and leaving so many more.

Why betray the Order? There were people he'd known all his life at the Order. The food was good. It was comfortable there.. but.. There was something missing.

.._ Omoi_.

"Kanda? I, er.. didn't catch that.."

And he smiles, a small twitch of the corners of his mouth, because he's finally found where he belongs, his answer, his _omoi_..

"For you.. Allen… I'm not letting you go through this alone.."

And because he really doesn't want to hear Walker trying to convince him otherwise, he keeps the idiot's mouth occupied until he learns to shut up, flushed and hazy-eyed or not.

-

_**For you, Allen Walker. My hope, my wish, my heart.. is you.**_

_**Because this world isn't as black and white as they want us to see it..**_

-

_"…Curse you.. curse you..!"_

_"Monster! Tool of the devil!"_

_"Hate you, hate you, curse you! I curse you!"_

_"Damn you to hell, you monster of a child! You're no son of mine. May you never live to see the light of God, Kanda!"_

_-_

_**Demo saa, kaa-san… God's light.. I don't need it…**_

_**As long as my hope is not crushed…**_

_-_

_**At spes non fracta.**_

-_**  
**_

* * *

-

Eh.. guess I should give you guys the translation for the title, if you haven't found out yet.

_At spes non fracta_ means "but hope is not crushed" in.. Latin, I think? Yeah, Latin. I really don't know if it really does, I just found it in the back of my dictionary and it looked cool.. so I'm using it. 8D

Oh, and _omoi_ means 'hope', but can also mean a bunch of other things such as heart, wish, and desire, according to the online translator... so someone check me on that.

WHOO. NINE CHAPTERS. MY FIRST FANFIC TO CONTINUE TO THE END.

And I have all you lovely readers to thank. And Allen and Kanda('s uncooperative _arse_), too.

Short and sweet. What does that describe? This chapter, for one. Allen, for another (in more ways than one lulz). Me as well (in.. one way.. actually, I'm not sweet at all, so I don't count).

Keep an eye out for the sequel, **_The Final Stage: Scenario 14_**! I absolutely have to write the sequel, since there are still _so many_ questions from this story...

Review if you must. I'll reply to them in the sequel 8D

I also apologize to those replies I haven't replied to, in story or not. I do read all of your reviews, I just pick out the, er, interesting ones to reply to. XD And big huge thanks for the rest of ya'.

Thank you again to all those who supported me in finishing this story. ILU. REALLY.

_**Edit (January 17, 2009):** Changed layout, added dividers.. and that's it. Also, a side note, those are flashbacks of Kanda's childhood, to be revealed in the sequel. They **are** important, so I'll bring them up again later._


	10. Update: Sequel is out!

Just a little notice that the sequel is out, for those of you who are looking forward to reading it. 8D

It's titled **_The Final Stage: Scenario 14_** and is mostly in Allen's POV, or as much as I can. It's the same plot line, so it's more of a continuation fic than a sequel. I just felt that I needed to make a brand new story instead of continuing it under the title _**It's Not All Black and White**_.

I'd like to say another thank you to all of my dedicated readers out there, and I hope you'll enjoy the sequel/continuation fic as much as you did this one.


End file.
